Had two conversations this week, one online and another with relatives. The online conversation was a little depressing. An acquaintance stated that marriage supporters are on the wrong side of history. I asked what did that really mean, because it wasn't an actual argument. He made a reference to the civil rights movement, in which I replied that nature of marriage supporting fathers and many minority families have felt the absence of over the decades. His response? "Fragile families are fragile families." As if nothing could be done about it, and we shouldn't bother dealing with the brokenness.
The other conversation was with older relatives, no way homophobic and like myself always thought to be liberal on gay issues, until the marriage issue came to be. Bluntly stated, it was argued nothing can change natural law. The government can make up any law they want, but it didn't mean squat. The government isn't nature. Gay people may be born that way, but the nature of human sexuality is procreative meaning heterosexual behavior has distinct function.
We did speak of public policy, and despite my marriage support, I understand something should be done to add protection in our laws. I always believed in a new kinship legal standing, just not marriage, and believe civil unions was a sloppy answer to avoid the issue. A legal standing for non-married adults, that showed a reliance and support and not solely to address the concerns of gay couples that had a much broader scope.
While it is discussed in terms of benefits, I always thought the lack of legal standing in wrongful death suits and consortium claims (parent, spouse or child injury loss) was where the lost of justice occurred in relationships that were not related by blood or non-marital. Redefining marriage isn't the answer. With marriage so pathetically treated and viewed by the law and society, starting from scratch and forming a new legal relationship would not only have more support, but its laws would have more power to protect the actual relationship.
Renee Aste
Lowell Massachusetts
Hmmm. Those who say you'll be on the wrong side of history forget that it is all our future posterity that will be making that judgement. I'm content to be the great-great-grandmother who wanted all my posterity to enjoy their right to know and have a relationship with both their sides of the family tree, through a married mother and father. That will be my legacy to them, and I'm proud to own it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe five years ago, I could at least get someone who supported gay marriage seeing marriage having a dual function and see that fragile families needed help. (that's the way I use to view it.) Today, it seems people have given up on them.
ReplyDeleteI've always seen valid arguments on the other side of the issue, I just don't see those arguments as marriage, just something different.