Massachusetts, we're in one ugly demographic hole.
As someone who has given birth to four children here, each time I answered a survey for the Department of Public Health. A real long survey, because they wanted to know absolutely everything me, because I'm a mom. Massachusetts cares about the maternal outcome for myself and for my children. They use this personal information as data for better public policy.
My age, education, ethnicity, planned or unplanned pregnancy, when did I start prenatal care, was my pregnancy covered by private insurance or MassHealth, and if there was a husband and not just a father was asked of me. Each time as I was suppose to resting and bonding with my newborn, I spent a good 30 minutes filling out this paper work so each child could be registered for a birth certificate issued by the state.
What is fascinating is the choice of image Massachusetts uses for their yearly report on births. A masculine figure cradling an image of a pregnant woman. The same types of images people who defend marriage with, and not with signs of hatred.
Recently due to the recession, there has been a drop in birth rates nationwide. Women are unsure of their stability for the future makes them uneasy to have a child. This is a typical pattern in depressions and recessions. Why hasn't any state lawmaker blinked an eye at the fact that since 1990, Massachusetts number of births has dropped 19%? There were 74,966 birth in Massachusetts 2009, in 1990 there was well over 90,000. Massachusetts isn't growing, it is only stabilized by a consistent wave immigration to replenish it. With the number of births declining, how can we have a future? Massachusetts has decided to solve the problem with casinos and legalizing euthanasia.
I live in this dual reality, one can speak in terms of public health or social services all about the family, in what is coined as traditional and natural terms marriage. In some affluent suburbs, 95% of all children are born to married parents, while in isolated city ghettos only 30% have married parents.
Public policy wants maternal support, paternal participation, and stable home for healthy and safe outcomes of our children. But we can't give public policy a legal term, like marriage, defined as one man and one woman without the gay lobby placing the pressure to falsely stigmatize fellow citizens as bigots. We have some great government services (liberal concept), but we don't have either the economic revenue or work-force demographic (conservative concept) to support it.
Meanwhile the demographic reports have a twist, "Study: (Massachusetts) Migration Out Of Mass. Plummets Post-Recession" from the local Boston NPR station, reports that people are stuck here due to the recession. The problem is "“This has been a sobering experience, especially for young adults who have had their lives delayed. They haven’t married as much. They haven’t had children…" NPR said it, not me.
Renee Aste
Lowell Massachusetts
"We have some great government services (liberal concept), but we don't have either the economic revenue or work-force demographic (conservative concept) to support it."
ReplyDeleteNo Nanny State can afford the quality of care for which a loving married mom and dad willingly sacrifice to give their own offspring, can they?
"young adults who have had their lives delayed."
I wonder about how many young adults believe they have to have it all before they get married. When my husband and I got married, we were "starving" college students. We lived on love and student loans for a while. Our first two kids were born while we were in college, the first a month after I graduated with my BA. We had hardly anything in the way of material goods, but together we've made a life together: kids, pets, home, reliable vehicles, higher education, etc.
If we had waited until it was convenient, or easy, I suppose we'd never have married in the first place, and we wouldn't have the great life that we do now.
DofE, Secular New England values. Parents would refuse to allow their daughter or son in college to marry. I was in law school when I married, and my mother-in-law was confused and my parents dismayed that we didn't buy a home was newer/larger then theirs. In college, adults are very dependent on their parents. Young adults have no source of independent income or credit and everything in their parent's name (like a car), because our priorities was school/activities, not part-time work. Even part-time work doesn't go towards student loans, but 'living expenses'. For instance the late Ted Kennedy, passed a measure so you can be up to the age of 26 and still be on your parent's health insurance. Let's say you go to a 50k a year school, like Boston College or Boston University, you're going to live the lifestyle that goes with it. Even UMASS is 20k a year at minimum.
ReplyDeleteHow do you feel about the Secular NE values? I hope I don't offend when I say that I'm content with the path I've taken. We've had to make sacrifices for me to stay at home (which I did, even while my husband finished his undergrad and then grad school) with our children from day one of their lives. But I've never regretted being a full-time homemaker. In fact, I'm convinced the art/science of homemaking is one of the most important "jobs" in the world, and I feel so grateful to be able to perfect my "craft" full-time. I'm afraid the Mass. school would have been too rich for our blood. :)
ReplyDeleteSecular NE values becomes a trap, a child becomes more like a trophy.
ReplyDeleteSee "Narcissistic Parenting"
"But for all the trophy children who try to please their narcissistic parents, there are those who conclude that they can't, or won't. There are those children who become convinced very early on of their inherent defects because of their inability to please their parent. These children easily give up in their own pursuits or don't even begin to try. There are those who refuse to succumb to the parent's impossible need for mirroring and gratification and, therefore, rebel. They live their lives in anger and opposition, refusing to meet parental (or societal) expectations. And for all the narcissistic parents that appear to be so preoccupied by their children, there are those that are so excessively focused on themselves that their children barely register on their radar, except for the moments when the child gratifies them. These children continue to struggle, to varying degrees throughout their lives, to establish their authentic selves."
Rather most religious view holds that we're obligated to love our children, even when they don't meet even basic expectations.
DofE, Not sure how common people in their 50s say, "I'm too young to be a grandparent." Very common, it's as if baby boomer parents didn't want to get old, so they never wanted to see their adult children actually become adults.
ReplyDeleteI could also rant how birth is voyeuristic in NE secular culture, do you really want your father-in-law to come right in after birth, while you barely birthed the placenta? But I'm assuming that's everywhere now.
Hmmm. NE secular culture is sounding kinda bleak. Speaking as a "common mom," I don't want to become a grandma until my kids are first married. But I don't want them to put off marriage and then family in pursuit of the almighty dollar. While we all need adequate $$ to pay for food, clothing, shelter, education, and reliable transportation, it doesn't have to be all or nothing. It's ok for married couples to start young, and learn to sacrifice together. And it's ok for kids not to have every glitzy toy on the market. It's ok for families to work together for the common good.
ReplyDeleteIt's bleaker then people want to acknowledge, not sure if people want to turn it around though. Demographicly we're going to turn into Russia.
ReplyDeleteAlso we want women educated and with flexiable skills, no matter the gender or marital status, careers do need to be more fluid for differing transitions. In healthy growing economies, that is possible. Today, employees are overworked and companies unwilling to hire.