In their own marriage, Savage and [his husband Terry] Miller practice being what he calls “monogamish,” allowing occasional infidelities, which they are honest about. Miller was initially opposed to the idea. “You assume as a younger person that all relationships are monogamous and between two people, that love means nothing can come between you,” said Miller, who met Savage at a club in 1995, when he was 23 and Savage was 30. “Dan has taught me to be more realistic about that kind of stuff.
It's clear what he is asking for isn't the same thing I'm asking for, so why in the name of civil law are we treating these differences in the same matter? If my husband and I have permission to be open, or whatever, why even bother to call it a relationship? We really don't have anything.
Dan Savage is right, marriage is hard, including the monogamy part. It's tempting to cheat. It's tempting even if not to cheat, to walk away when a relationship is stressed by outside factors. The reality over rides these temptation. We value couples who don't give into temptation and don't abandon their vows.
Marriage needs to be monogamous to be stable as a part of it's function, why? Because of the children.
Dan Savage himself, was a child raised with a married mother and father. As an individual he has benefited from marriage in ways children who don't have their mother and father in their lives have.
Thank you for posting this. It shows that Dan Savage is typical of SSM advocates in that he has not clue what marriage is. For him it is completely cut off from its natural roots in human nature. “The mistake that straight people made was imposing the monogamous expectation on men." STRAIGHT PEOPLE did not impose the monogamous expectation on men. This was for the good of society and the good of women and the good of children. Ah well, I know they think society will be just fine without marriage. But if you look at those segments of society where marriage has broken down the worst it is obvious that we need marriage as a society. Society needs straight people to behave sexually because man-woman unions are in principle procreative and homosexual partnerships are not. Thanks for posting and listening to my comment. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt bothers me they has an adoptive son. Even in Massachusetts if a couple or single individual adopts/foster it needs to be stable, and not unstable. (No requirement to be married to foster in Massachusetts) Caregivers shouldn't be off with others, creating emotional stress on dependents. Their free time should be devoted their son, considering he has lost ties to his biological family.
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