Why Divorce Devastates Children by Marlena Graves
The comments
Oh, and people shouldn't kid themselves about the "good" divorce. Amicable divorces only train your kids to have NO CLUE how to make marriage work. At least in divorces where someone obviously screwed up big time, or has profound problems, a child can see the mistakes--indeed, has probably witnessed them firsthand--and emerges with some sense about what went wrong and what they will NOT do in their own future. But good divorces that are amicable and come out of the blue just slaughter kids, especially as they mature into young adults. They have no clue how to avoid the invisible problems that sunk their parents' marriage. As a result, they're very skeptical of marriage.
True comment. I've spent my life avoiding doing what my parents and siblings have done. It's served my marriage well so far....
ReplyDeleteMy family has been fortunate, divorce really hasn't hit us until the past decade. Mostly because I'm the youngest of all my cousins, so everyone was already married with children. I find it totally messed up how couples who married in their teens/early 20s, even married while pregnant, are still happily married 35/40 years later. It's a total expectation of relationships, and what we expect out of each other.
ReplyDeleteNow honestly I don't know what it is like for teens and people in their 20s, hence I don't know how to explain to my children what to expect, because 'wait till marriage' makes no sense when I saw people seeing relationships in a very casual sense.
I am researching the issue of the impact of divorce on children right now. As part of that research, I am surveying children of divorce. If your parents divorced before you were 18, I would love for you to fill out this short, confidential, online survey. It's 8 questions long, and it will help us to better serve children who are currently living through the divorce of their parents. You can find the survey at http://www.kidmin1124.com/divorce/ Thanks!
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