I hate it.
It started a decade ago, after I was married. I just didn't like it, I began to hate it. A couple who was just married a year prior to my husband and I were getting a divorce.
It seemed so easy, and no one else cared that their marriage was broken. All that work for a wedding, and that effort to ensure that they were a good match. Then all of a sudden, without any fault the wife wasn't happy.
Then a again with another couple, who had two children. No one really thought anything of it.
Then recently another couple. I viewed Facebook statuses change. First it begins with the husband's 'It's complicated', then 'Single', then 'In a relationship' with someone who wasn't his wife.
I check over to the wife's her status changed to 'Separated', and then photos are tagged with the husband with the new lover.
A birthday party is held for their youngest child, all that matters is that mom and dad love the child right? I didn't want my children to know yet, another family broken so we changed plans.
When they see divorce on a reoccurring basis, it scares them. We reassure them. I ask my husband, 'Can that become us?'
No one supports couples when they hit a rocky patch, I'm not talking about abuse here, just the stress that can and will occur in marriage. It just seems when it gets tough, they divorce and everyone by omission encourages it.
And to add... Why do women in abusive relationships can't leave, but otherwise healthy relationships so easily fall apart?
I hate it, too. According to the Bible, we're in good company on that.
ReplyDeleteMy parents divorced, but I was an adult by then. I hated it, growing up, when adults I knew divorced. IT was obviously rough on the kids. I still hate it when I hear someone I know is getting divorced. Heck, the divorces of strangers (celebrities come to mind) irk me. Most of all, I hate what it does to children.
"And to add... Why do women in abusive relationships can't leave, but otherwise healthy relationships so easily fall apart?"
Because the abused person is often messed up, too. Often, they think ALL relationships are like that. Women especially think they can change an abusive man with their love.
But as for the "not happy" stuff. I say WHOSE FAULT IS THAT??? And once you make children... SORRY... it isn't about your personal happiness anymore. It is about what is best for your child. The excuse it with "My child shouldn't be in a house with fighting parents". SO DON'T FIGHT.
It's so frustrating to have our friends think they can be just as good as a parent, when they divorce. I'm not questioning that they love their children less, but there are only so many time in a day (after work/errands) and you'll miss those few opportunities if the child is at the other parent's house.
ReplyDeleteEventually your spouse, that you left will find another person and there will be someone new you didn't choose also parenting your child. Depending on who has primary custody, that person will be more then a parent then you, in your child's eyes.
While sure, each parent will be there for the 'big stuff', at best a divorced parent can only be there for their children half the time if parenting is truly 50/50 shared... one week here, then one week there. Holidays scheduled out, unable to relax. always looking at the clock, because by 2pm the child needs to be over the mother's/father's house.