Finally, A Source of Wisdom on Marriage

Who needs the Constitution and elections when we have celebrities to tell us how to do things? I've been waiting eagerly for this moment, because up until now, these people have been so reserved about their opinion on this matter. Holly Bailey reports on this very important development in our national dialogue.

Just weeks after the Obama administration announced it would no longer legally defend the Defense of Marriage act, some of the president's biggest Hollywood supporters have signed a letter urging him to go a step further and [neuter] marriage.

Yes, you know, his authority to do so is listed right there in Article II, Section 5 of the Constitution. Go read it for yourself.

Anne Hathaway, Martin Sheen, Jane Lynch and Ellen DeGeneres are among the actors who have signed an open letter sponsored by Freedom to Marry, a New York-based advocacy group working to promote marriage rights for same-sex couples.

Wow, I had no idea any of those people were for neutering marriage. How courageous of them to speak up, given that they are now likely to be hounded out of the entertainment industry. Oh wait, no, that would be marriage defenders who would lose their gigs.

"Whether to end discrimination in marriage is a question America has faced before, and faces again today… It is a question that calls for clarity from the president," the letter reads.

It is impossible to have any laws regarding marriage or any state marriage licensing without some form of discrimination. All laws descriminate. The question is on what basis do we discriminate? On someone's internal feelings, or objective things like which sex is on your birth certificate? And why are the very same activist groups that used to say "Leave us alone, stay out of our bedroom" now demanding the government get involved in their relationships?

"We ask you to complete your journey and join us, and the majority of Americans, who support the freedom to marry."

Wrong. The majority of Americans do not support the neutering of state marriage licensing by court or federal interference.

The letter was also signed by NFL linebackers Scott Fujita of the Cleveland Browns and Brenden Ayanbadejo of the Baltimore Ravens; entertainment moguls David Geffen and Bob Wright; former NAACP chairman Julian Bond; and Facebook co-founders Chris Hughes and Sean Parker.

Next they'll tell us that Ted Nugent supports gun ownership.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a better source of advice on marriage policy than Hollywood and the NFL. Let's ignore biology, any holy book out there, and all of the great moral thinkers and rights leaders in history, and our own basic observation of reality, and instead listen to what the star of "Glee" wants.