Derence Kernek and Ed Watson Missed the Boat

In their tireless advocacy for neutering marriage, the Los Angeles Times has run an article by Carol J. Williams meant to tug at the heartstrings:

Derence Kernek and Ed Watson live together each day in fear that they won't be able to pledge "till death do us part" before it's too late.

They can pledge that right now. Right now. They could have done it five years ago. They could have done it ten years ago. They can pledge it in private. They can pledge it in front of clergy and witnesses. They don't need a state license to do this, and a state license does not guarantee "till death do us part" as scores of millions of divorced people and their children can vividly testify.

Watson, 78, is in rapidly failing health, afflicted with Alzheimer's disease, obesity, diabetes and hypertension.

That’s awful. I have sympathy for him. Although the hypertension and diabetes are likely the result of a voluntary condition of obesity.

"We don't have the money to travel to a state where it's legal," said Kernek, 80, observing dejectedly that the travel would probably be too grueling for his partner of 40 years. "Besides, we wanted to do it in California, where our friends are, where we live. Now I don't think we'll be able to, not while Ed can still remember."

Hold on a minute. The state was giving out marriage licenses to brideless couples in 2008. These guys had been together for what, 37 years? They could have gotten one then. They have been able to register as domestic partners for many years now.

The article then goes into a recap of what has been going on with the state's marriage amendment.

In response to an online appeal by the Hollywood-based Courage Campaign for testimony to back the legal challenge of Proposition 8 and other gay-rights litigation, more than 3,000 couples came forward with their stories about why they believe marriage can't wait.

How convenient for the Los Angeles Times.

"Life is not eternal - sometimes it is tragically short - and courts should not act as if it were otherwise," said Chad Griffin, board president of the American Foundation for Equal Rights and a key strategist in the legal campaign to scuttle Proposition 8.

The anecdotes of fatal illness and faltering minds were intended to put human faces on gay- and lesbian-rights advocates' arguments that continuing to prohibit same-sex marriage after Walker's ruling inflicts irreparable harm on many.

Every law can be presented as causing harm to someone.

"Each day plaintiffs, and gay men and lesbians like them, are denied the right to marry - denied the full blessings of citizenship - is a day that never can be returned to them," two same-sex couples who brought the successful lawsuit against Proposition 8 argued in their motion.

So unmarried people aren't full citizens?

Shane Mayer and John Quintana, 28-year-olds from San Francisco, want to marry while Mayer's cancer-stricken father can still take part, the friend-of-the-court letter testified.

Go ahead and have a ceremony.

"I can't even say how many times I've had to call 911 when he falls or gets into a position where I can't lift him," Kernek says of his partner.

And a state marriage license will change this horrible thing... how?

They registered as domestic partners when they arrived in California, and after the state legalized same-sex marriage three years ago, they thought they could make the ultimate commitment to each other when the time was right.

Oh please. 37 years together and the time wasn't right? I'm sorry, that my be as ridiculous to me as when I see these man-woman couples shack up for ten years, have kids, and then get married.

If these men did not think Proposition 8 had any chance of passing, then to me, that is an indication of just how friendly the rest of California has been to them. They assumed that since we do not foam at the mouth or wish them ill, then we must think their relationship is the same thing as marriage. If they had been experiencing much hostility, surely they would have feared Prop 8's passage.

"Why is it important to anybody else who you are devoted to?" Kernek asks. "I just don't see how who I love hurts anybody else's marriage."

Again, I don't wish these ailments on anyone. However, this delay is the way the system works. Walker's decision was to overturn a state constitutional amendment. That should not be taken lightly. Everyone has freedom of association and can share their lives together and make legal arrangements. Some (not all... which is interesting) can register as domestic partners. There shouldn't have been anyone entering into these relationships unaware of what was and was not offered through law, and what was able and likely to be contested for some time to come. For any matter of law, we can find the hard cases that tug at our heartstrings. But laws apply to all, and the law should be good public policy in general. Marriage, uniting a bride and a groom, is the only kind of association that can unite both sexes that comprise all of society, naturally create new citizens (even if not all do), and raise those citizens in a legal, financial, and social unit where they will have one main role model from each of the two sexes. The state simply doesn't have the same interest in other kinds of associations. The state knows your sex. It doesn't know whether or not you are fertile or desiring to reproduce. Each marriage must be inclusive of both sexes. That is the state's criteria. Have other laws for other associations.

I used to close down a venue for the night. The hours we were open was no secret. Quite frequently, five, ten, or fifteen minutes after closing, someone who had been in the vicinity for hours would approach the entrance and when told the venue was closed, they would say any number of things: "But I really like this place." "Don't you know who I am?" "I've been coming here for years." "But I came from a long way away." "I'm leaving town first thing in the morning and won't be back." None of that mattered. Their skin color didn’t matter, their sexual orientation didn’t matter, and they could have had a terminal illness. They could have been rich or poor. It didn’t matter - staff had left and the place was shut down. The rules were publicly known and they apply to all.