NOM National Marriage News: Defining the "Culture of Hate"

Some timely commentary from Brian Brown at NOM...

They [marriage neuterists] do not see themselves as behaving aggressively when they insist that all good people now support the redefinition of marriage, so the public and political resistance of others to their new views on marriage strikes them as incredibly aggressive.
[...]
I've come to believe that this is not merely tactical on their part; they really experience the world in this way, which makes me sad.
If you say, “The ideal for a child is a mom and a dad,” they hear something very different, something which sounds more like, 'You hate me and my family—you want to attack me.'
I'm not sure what it is possible to do about reactions like that. Many parents are not married, and all responsible parents deserve respect. But an America where our ideal is seen as a vicious and hateful attack?

All of this is framed in a remark by Paul Krugman about the toxic effects of "eliminationist rhetoric" on public discourse. I want to explore a question with the readership a bit more deeply also, Do we really think there is an enemy which needs to be eliminated in this debate, or do we see on the other side of the fence people who need to be taken care of? When our intentions are always viewed inside of a mindset of sinister suspicion, there may indeed be little room for dialog.

It is a tough problem to consider. I'm not sure I can articulate a very good answer either, when one side doesn't want to listen or reads sinister intentions behind everything you try to say, that is quite a communication break down.

But I can say that is why I'm confident in not only this discourse, but our side of the discourse. First, we have all of nature on our side. You can look through nature and find that the investment in our children that marriage fosters is a successful strategy for thriving in almost every environment the world has to offer. We have many studies which show how helpful it is for children to be raised by the two people who created them. In short, we have an abundance of natural evidence on our side.

But we also have an abundance of Christians, and if there is anyone I would want on my side to help overcome such an impass it would be people who've studied from Christ, who's words I find to be very inspired on communication skills in these excited circumstances.

And while Buddists are in a minority in this country, they also make a strong and active component in the fight to preserve responsible procreation as the explicit pervue of marriage. Their understanding of the instict of aggression, and the ways to fall into that natural pattern, are critical to being the peace makers that will ultimately prevail in this debate. I am confident in those seeking true peace and enlightenment to prevailing against this impasse.

I could go on, including religion after religion, all of which affirm the value to society that marriage has in promoting responsible procreation and all of which promote peace. This alignment is more than coincidence, and something that should not be taken for granted.

We are in a perilous time where aggression, however well intentioned or justified, can be like sowing the wind and reaping the whirl wind. All who are Christians here should be ready to do two things...

1. Learn and ponder. Marriage equality, the equal recognition of the value of each member of the procreational unit's needs and rights is a concept that will heal homes and people. It can be the very source of equality that promotes fairness and concern around the world. I ask you, what is your answer to the challenge made by a murderer of old, "am I my brother's keeper?" His wrong answer is at the heart of how his own selfishness broke up a home.
2. Preach. Yes, inspire with the beautiful doctrines that you hold dear. Don't hide these values because they are commonly derided by others. Feel free and confident that what inspires you is just as valuable as what inspires anyone else. As a member of the human family, you have the right to that voice. And the inspiration in you wasn't ment for only you. Your values are not weapons to berate others, they are not authority to condemn others with, they are jewels that people find beautiful and want to share. When two people share a loaf of bread, both walk away with half a loaf. When two people share an idea, both walk away with a full idea. While they might judge and reject your idea, you don't have to do the same, keep it and you will never lose it.

Thanks again for everyone's contribution. I feel I am with the right people, at the right time, on the most fair and egalitarian side of this debate.