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Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Alienation of Affection is No Joke

A woman by the name of Anne Lundquist has been in the news for losing an "alienation of affection" lawsuit filed by the wife of one Allan Shackelford. A Los Angeles Times editorial on the topic starts with...
If you're going to have an affair, don't do it in North Carolina. For that matter, don't mess around in Hawaii, Illinois, Mississippi, New Mexico, South Dakota or Utah either. These states have laws on their books that date back to the time when wives were considered property -- and woe unto he or she who steals chattel so dear.

The laws now apply regardless of sex. However, there is a difference between men and women.

A wife's adulterous behavior can result in paternity fraud. It is nearly impossible for a husband to perpetuate maternity fraud, though paternity fraud is not rare, and a husband can be obligated to support the resulting child even if the fraud is discovered, divorce or not.

Meanwhile, a husband's adulterous behavior can now obligate his wife to pay child support to a resulting child as long as she is married to him or is paying alimony to him. This wasn't the case way back when.

The jury awarded $9 million to the spurned wife.
Someone takes marriage seriously.

[Much more after the jump.]

"I don't have a lot of money, so where this $9 million comes from is kind of hysterical," Lundquist told reporters after hearing about the judgment -- she hadn't attended the trial, nor was she represented by a lawyer, perhaps because she hadn't taken seriously the pre-Enlightenment notion that the "other woman" could be held financially liable for the breakup of a marriage.
The board is implying that this is something that should have gone away with the so-called Enlightenment. Are they worried?

About 200 alienation of affection suits are filed in [North Carolina] every year, and although the $9-million Shackelford verdict could be the highest award ever in such a case, seven-figure payouts aren't unheard of.

Alienation of affection is a relic of British common law, originally applying only to wives but now covering spouses of either sex, that most states disposed of long ago.

It appears the board wants to make it clear they don't like this.
If a third party causes the breakup of a marriage, he or she can be sued, even if it's not the result of an adulterous affair; a minister, therapist or friend who advises or enables a split could be dragged into court.
Of course. Why should it be limited to engaging in adultery?
Divorce cases tend to be messy enough, but such suits make them even uglier, further rending families and opening the door to court-sanctioned harassment.
The state has an interest in protecting marriage, and if a state licenses a marriage, then isn’t someone who violates that marriage open to action? These suits are initiated by wronged parties, not by a state Attorney General.
Moreover, most people would accept that the true guilty party in an adulterous relationship is the one breaking his or her marriage vows, but this law implies otherwise -- as if the lover of a married person owed something to the spouse.
State-licensed marriages are a public matter. It isn't just the cheating/leaving spouse who has an obligation. A concern the editorial doesn't address, though, is that sexual behavior with another is only one way to break marital vows. While I do not excuse adultery, there are other ways to break vows including abandonment through ongoing sexual refusal, abuse, substance abuse, physical abandonment, etc. If I was on a jury, I would be unlikely to reward a spouse who did these things if their spouse then sought comfort in the arms of another. But yes, in alienation of affection lawsuits, the spouse should be held accountable as well, and this is possible if we assign fault in a divorce, or even allow the alienated spouse to collect from things that aren't community property, like inheritance.
That makes sense to many social conservatives, who hold the sanctity of marriage absolute, but to us it seems hopelessly outdated. Or to put it in Shakespearean terms, which seems appropriate given the provenance of this tort, "These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn."

Didn't Shakespeare also write something about protesting too much? If marriage matters and is important, then adultery is a serious matter. Shouldn't there be ways for a wronged person to get compensation? Isn't a lawsuit better than violence?

This is one area where I think mandatory pre-nups and/or civil unions or domestic partnerships may have a role to play. I lean strongly against no-fault divorce, and for alienation of affection laws – and for the bride and groom to mutually agree to possible divorce conditions before the marriage. Perhaps state licensed marriages should by default include fault in divorce, but with the ability for a pre-nup to circumvent that; some other kind of arrangement besides marriage could have different defaults. In too much of the country, we have lowered the standards of marriage.

The observation of human behavior

The observation of human behavior
Renee Aste, Lowell Massachusets

In previous post I mentioned natural selection/evolution. Recently I was watching PBS’s Nature in which it showed a male bird mating with a rock. Naturally a viewer would laugh at a bird dumb enough to mate with a rock, because only the smartest/strongest animals are suppose to mate utilizing each others corresponding reproduction organs to procreate and protect. That’s how species survive and as assumed by many this is how we evolved into human beings.

So I wondered what it would be like to be an alien observing human behavior on Earth, much like biologists observe nature. Would aliens think we’re a sophisticated bunch of organisms, because we’re so sexually liberated?

More in the fold

In scientific observation wouldn’t we be seen as morons when it comes to sex?
We think watching other people have sex in media form as entertainment.
We’ll stimulate ourselves; rather then seek out a mate.
We take pride in killing our offspring, of course in utero. It would just be too icky, to actually have to witness it in person is unsanitary and unsafe.

Anything sexual feels good, except of course having children, which happens to be the whole point of sex.

Who are these idiots? Oh yeah, us.
Are we crazy creationists who think human beings just magically appear on earth? Don’t we accept genealogy of the species, we only exist due to sex, sex, and more sex.

Remember there was that old fashion kind of sex, where a man and a woman come to a mutual understanding, consent, oblige themselves to any resulting offspring. Oh, never mind such idea sounds way too reasonable. We’re humans, we’re complicated creatures. We like to intentionally screw things up and then educate other people to be just as dumb.

I’m not picking on anyone in particular. For the most part we’re all raised with the sexual mentality that sex has nothing to do with procreation. We all have fallen victim to such illogical ideas, at one time or another in out lives. It is socially awkward, to say ‘Umm… As humans we’re dumber then a bird screwing rock” I realize how unpopular that statement is. People can understandably be defensive, with all of the self esteem and intelligence being questioned. Can't hurt the ego, you know. Objectively, we’ve made human sexuality a joke to be laughed at.

I’m not a true Darwinist though; in fact I’m a Catholic. I don’t particularly believe in only the strongest/smartest or any particular genetic trait in humanity is better then another. We’re all humans. I’m just asking we should acknowledge the importance of valuing sex, because it is how we got here.

HIV/AIDS epidemiology: 30% by age 30.

See: "30% by age 30".

Westboro's Nuts and Dolts

The Baltimore Sun:

On Friday, the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ordered that Albert Snyder of York, Pa., pay costs associated with Fred Phelps' appeal. Phelps is the leader of the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., which held a protest at the funeral of Snyder's son, Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, in Westminster in 2006.

Daniel Foster at The Corner:

Albert Snyder — father of a Marine who died in Iraq, and plaintiff in a lawsuit against a church group which loudly protested his son's funeral — has been ordered by the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals to pay nearly $17,000 in appeals costs to that group.

[...]

Summers also said that if his client can't come up with the money, the matter could go into collections, jeopardizing Snyder's property and wages.

Snyder has set up a legal fund in his son's name to help defer the costs of his campaign, and Fox News host Bill O'Reilly yesterday offered to cover Snyder's WBC-related bills.


Also see: Nuts and Dolts.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Increasing Number Of Parents Opting To Have Children School-Homed

According to the report, children raised at home were less likely to receive individual adult attention, and were often subjected to ineffective and wildly inconsistent disciplinary measures. The study also found that many parents expressed concerns that, when at home, their children were being teased and bullied by those older than themselves.

In addition to providing better supervision and overall direction, school-homing has become popular among mothers and fathers who just want to be less involved in the day-to-day lives of their children.

Someone help me out on this, does the fact that this is satire mean it is false -- or true?

Monday, March 29, 2010

The Result of the Heterosexual Equation

The Result of the Heterosexual Equation
By Renee Aste, Lowell Massachusetts

I realize being in opposition of gay marriage, that there would be dissent, yet over the past few years online it was more about bullying to wear out, shut down, and attempt to publicly shame others on the Internet. Many comments are not to engage in discussion of points and weighing values and concern for differences in various relationships that are formed by adults, but to avoid the points on both sides.

The thing that is lost, that while it is very important to promote healthy and responsible sexuality between men and women, there are also valid points within the gay community. The marriage argument isn’t a hetero-normative means of oppression, but a concept that serves every individual as a human being. Marriage is to support the nature, which men need to be accountable for their procreative means with women. No baby mama drama, no physical/emotional/financial abuse, and respect for a woman’s sexual health and the well being of their children.

On the non-heterosexual relationship side, there are points as well, but do not equally encompass the myriad of other concerns that heterosexual activity has to encounter. With every sexual encounter a woman has with a man, she has to weigh potential pregnancy and bearing a child.

More in the fold

Does she try to achieve pregnancy? Or does she avoid?
If she avoids, yet still becomes pregnant how will the man respond?
Will she or he both be accepting of the child? What if they disagree?
Is it even safe to have a child with the man?
Is the man of good nature or abusive?
What if she changes her mind?
What if he wants the child and she doesn’t?
Beyond the woman and the man, what about the child?
Shouldn’t we help women and men think about these factors before they even consider having sex?

The beginning of life as an individual is the end result of this heterosexual equation. Human existence is not created within homosexual activity or non-sexual activity. That may be a hard statement to accept for gay marriage supporters, but a concept like marriage in society is the only way to make things just for the equation.

This balance comes in differing forms between a man and a woman, but a scale of justice must exist for the two of them together. Justice can not be unfair, yet not ignore the weight of evidence in the corresponding nature between men, women, and their children. What better way of justice then to have a man commit to the mother of his children, also know as marriage. Men don’t have babies, but are just as responsible for them.

Acknowledging something so evident, doesn’t mean there is not room on the table for anything else. Those other relationships, even as a matter of civil decree can’t replace what has already be set forth in nature, nor should it try to. At times I’m not sure what exactly what the gay community is looking for within redefining marriage. I don’t believe it is marriage that they are seeking but something else that may be just and in its own right. And if there is more then just marriage, then why not open the discussion for relationships that are neither romantic nor sexual in nature?

Human sexuality really does speak for itself. Orientation or social constructs are irrelevant to this. Women ovulate to release an ovum each menstrual cycle and men let go of sperm upon ejaculation. They come together either by the conjugal act (or in lab). When together human life is created. Humanity can not exist very well, if it has no value for the means of its creation.

These protections are devised within us, even before our own awareness of ourselves. It’s in every cell of our bodies, our individual DNA, made of maternal and paternal. Only our biology makes a family tree, to know who really are, an end result of the countless heterosexual equations before us. Whether you see yourself as a result of evolution, of God, or a combination of both, we can’t void out what the sexual equation is. If we stay on course and circumvent in a multitude ways, we will only see more of the collateral damage as a result.

Humanity against itself is nothing new. I can only ponder when this civilization falls, as they always do. All that will be left is our records. So far we have countless pages of court records of child paternity suits/affidavits asking who the father is? Such ambiguity even has arise we ask even if there is a mother? Can you imagine archeologists coming upon a birth certificate with two fathers on it? Would they conclude that the society believed in equality or had some strange misunderstandings on the birds and the bees?

The Girlie Men

The authors argued from principles of evolutionary psychology that women from countries with bad medical systems selected men from a tougher genetic pool because they wanted their offspring to survive. Since a good proxy for tough genes turns out to be testosterone, they picked out Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome. But testosterone also creates problems: men who are “uncooperative, unsympathetic, philandering, aggressive and disinterested in parenting”. They are men who might balk at sitting down when using the toilet. What to do about testosterone?

Read it all.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

"The most discredited and disgraced bishop in the United States."

Father Raymond J. de Souza is a chaplain at Queen's University in Ontario. He wrote a response to the New York Times story on the sex abuse scandal. In it he writes frankly about Weakland, the embittered ex-archbishop of Milwaukee:

[Click here to read the rest of the blogpost]

"Response to the New York Times."

The New York Times on March 25 accused Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, of intervening to prevent a priest, Father Lawrence Murphy, from facing penalties for cases of sexual abuse of minors.

The story is false. It is unsupported by its own documentation. Indeed, it gives every indication of being part of a coordinated campaign against Pope Benedict, rather than responsible journalism.

Before addressing the false substance of the story, the following circumstances are worthy of note:

Read his account, here.

* * *

Links to items mentioned by de Souza:

New York Times: Vatican Declined to Defrock U.S. Priest. [March 25, 2010]

Laurie Goodstien: Former Bishop Weakland's Memoir. [March 15, 2010]

The London Sun: Protesters in Rome.

Rod Drehr: Bishop Weakland’s Exit. [May 2002]

Survivors Network Statement on NYT Story. [March 25, 2010]

The Herald: Catholic Leaders Rally.

Anderson Advocates: Becker court-related documents.

Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel: Ex-archbishop Weakland.

NYT Video: Demonstration.

Vatican: No Sex Abuse Cover Up.

Archbishop of Westminster: Pope has taken strong action.

Archdiocese of Milwaukee: Sexual Abuse Reporting Policies.

Questions and Answers re Sexual Abuse of Minors by Clergy.

* * *

Nothing to Do with Homosexuality?

Clowes and Sonnier: Child Molestation by Homosexuals and Heterosexuals.

Damian Thompson: A Stich-up.

Cristina Odone: Pope Benedict XVI is part of the solution not the problem.

Accusations fly, and allegations mount. In this feverish atmosphere, facts become, frankly, irrelevant. Who cares that when, as Cardinal, Benedict assigned a known paedophile to a course of therapy, this was the practice not only within the church, but the outside world too? Who cares that when Fr Lawrence Murphy was abusing 200 deaf boys in Wisconsin, the police were called in and did not believe the victims and absolved the priest of any wrong-doing? Who cares that when, as head of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Benedict allowed Fr Murphy to die a priest rather than be defrocked, he was fulfilling a dying man’s wish?

Catholic News Service: Vatican defends action in case of Wisconsin priest abuser.

Vatican officials who spoke on background said The New York Times story was unfair because it ignored the fact that, at the urging of Cardinal Ratzinger himself, new procedures to deal with priest abusers were put in place in 2002, including measures making it easier to laicize them.

[...]

Father Lombardi pointed out, however, that the Vatican was only informed of the case more than two decades after the abuse had been reported to diocesan officials and the police. He noted that civil authorities had dropped their investigation without filing charges.

The church's canonical procedures in such cases do not envision "automatic penalties," but recommend that a judgment be made, not excluding removal of a guilty priest from the priesthood, Father Lombardi said

* * *

Update

Ross Douthat:"Popes do not resign. But a pope can clean house."

John Allen (NCR): Keeping the record straight.

There are at least three aspects of Benedict's record on the sexual abuse crisis which are being misconstrued, or at least sloppily characterized, in today's discussion. Bringing clarity to these points is not a matter of excusing the pope, but rather of trying to understand accurately how we got where we are. The following, therefore, are three footnotes to understanding Benedict's record on the sexual abuse crisis. 1. Not the 'Point Man' [...] 2. The 2001 letter [...] 3. Canonical Trials.

John Allen (NYT): Swift Actions.

Fr. Longenecker: Myths verus Basic Facts and Basic Princples.

The Anchoress: "Smart enough to know that this is no light issue."

This is not excuse-making, but pertinent history in the 1970’s and 1980’s pedophiles and pederasts were thought to be “treatable” and “curable” with psychotherapy; that was the recommendation made by psychiatric experts at the time: “get them therapy and reassign them.” It was bad advice, particularly in light of more recent studies about the recidivism of abusers of all stripes; by my lights, the bishops who took it failed in spiritual wisdom; regardless of what the “experts” told them, they should have understood that any priest capable this abuse (or this “sick” as the experts classified them), was spiritually sick as well, and unfit to perform his office in a parish setting. This is a terrible, terrible disgrace and any Catholic who does not see this is willfully ignorant.

* * *

Update.

Catholic Education Resource Center: "Ferocious animosity."

Christopher Hitchens' venomous attack on Pope Benedict XVI is a revelation that deserves wider attention. Were it not for its appearance in the National Post, it would be difficult to believe that a reputable newspaper would publish such absurdity.

[...]

Addressing the shortcomings in Mr. Hitchens' handiwork provides the opportunity to answer an important question. What should the Catholic Church do with bishops and priests who have facilitated vile sexual crimes by clergy by deliberate concealment or gross negligence?

Update.

George Weigel, First Things: Scoundrel Time(s).

In the United States alone, there are reportedly some 39 million victims of childhood sexual abuse. Forty to sixty percent were abused by family members, including stepfathers and live-in boyfriends of a child’s mother—thus suggesting that abused children are the principal victims of the sexual revolution, the breakdown of marriage, and the hook-up culture. Hofstra University professor Charol Shakeshaft reports that 6-10 percent of public school students have been molested in recent years—some 290,000 between 1991 and 2000. According to other recent studies, 2 percent of sex abuse offenders were Catholic priests—a phenomenon that spiked between the mid-1960s and the mid-1980s but seems to have virtually disappeared (six credible cases of clerical sexual abuse in 2009 were reported in the U.S. bishops’ annual audit, in a Church of some 65,000,000 members).

Yet in a pattern exemplifying the dog’s behavior in Proverbs 26:11, the sexual abuse story in the global media is almost entirely a Catholic story, in which the Catholic Church is portrayed as the epicenter of the sexual abuse of the young, with hints of an ecclesiastical criminal conspiracy involving sexual predators whose predations continue today. That the vast majority of the abuse cases in the United States took place decades ago is of no consequence to this story line. For the narrative that has been constructed is often less about the protection of the young (for whom the Catholic Church is, by empirical measure, the safest environment for young people in America today) than it is about taking the Church down—and, eventually, out, both financially and as a credible voice in the public debate over public policy. For if the Church is a global criminal conspiracy of sexual abusers and their protectors, then the Catholic Church has no claim to a place at the table of public moral argument.

The Times’ descent into tabloid sourcing and innuendo was even more offensive because of recent hard news developments that underscore Pope Benedict’s determination to root out what he once described as the “filth” in the Church.

So, of course, would elementary fairness from the global media. That seems unlikely to come from those reporters and editors at the New York Times who have abandoned any pretence of maintaining journalistic standards. But it ought not be beyond the capacity of other media outlets to understand that much of the Times’ recent reporting on the Church has been gravely distorted, and to treat it accordingly.


Update:

Jimmy Akin at the National Catholic Register has read the documents and summarized the evidence that the New York Times misrepresented. If you read nothing else on this subject, read Akin's blogpost.

The level of vitriol being directed at Pope Benedict by the mainstream media right now is truly extraordinary. It’s primarily drive by desire for cash (scandal sells), followed closely by hatred, along with a hefty dose of ignorance.

Reading Maureen Dowd’s latest opinion column is just a cringe-inducing experience.

Even in ostensible news pieces the misrepresentation of facts is staggering. That’s where the ignorance comes in. Reporters in the mainstream media are seldom well versed in the matters they are reporting on, and it is clear that—even when outright malice is excluded from the equation—they simply do not have the background to properly understand or report on how the Vatican works and what its actions mean.

I am not saying that the Holy See’s handling of abuse cases can’t be legitimately criticized. I’m not saying that then-Cardinal Ratzinger/now-Pope Benedict XVI didn’t experience a learning curve on this point. And I don’t know what else is out there that remains to be discovered.

But I am saying that the media is getting this story wrong, particularly in the case of Fr. Lawrence Murphy, the American priest whose case was dealt with by the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith when Cardinal Ratzinger was its head.

[...]

So let’s look at the facts of the case in light of the documents:

Read it all. Here is how Akin concluded his blogpost:

Murphy had written his letter of appeal—the crux letter that the media is up in arms about—in January of 1998 and in August of 1998 he was dead.

One can fault any number of things about process or policy in this case, but we don’t have evidence that Ratzinger did anything in bad conscience. He didn’t stop the trial against Murphy from proceeding. At most (attributing everything to him that Bertone did) he recommended waiving the judicial proceeding due to the man’s advanced age and ill health while simultaneously taking steps to ensure that the man would not be a threat to anyone as he lived out his final months in seclusion.

Civil prosecutors make these kinds of judgments all the time, deciding whether it is really worth it to devote the resources to proceed to a full trial when the accused is elderly, not a threat, and likely to die during the proceedings.

They aren’t portrayed in the press as evil monsters, and from the facts of this case, Pope Benedict shouldn’t either.

Update:

Cardinal William J. Levada

In dealing with priests, I learned that many priests, when confronted with accusations from the past, spontaneously admitted their guilt. On the other hand, I also learned that denial is not uncommon. I have found that even programs of residential therapy have not succeeded in breaking through such denial in some cases. Even professional therapists did not arrive at a clear diagnosis in some of these cases; often their recommendations were too vague to be helpful. On the other hand, therapists have been very helpful to victims in dealing with the long-range effects of their childhood abuse. In both Portland and San Francisco where I dealt with issues of sexual abuse, the dioceses always made funds available (often through diocesan insurance coverage) for therapy to victims of sexual abuse.

Donahue of the Catholic League:

Much of the accusation against Pope Benedict XVI in the case of Wisconsin priest Fr. Lawrence Murphy rests on his alleged disinterest in pushing for Murphy to be defrocked. Contradicting this smear is the judge in the Murphy trial and the New York Times itself.

[...]

I challenge anyone to produce a single piece of evidence that the pope did anything wrong.

Here's the canonical judge's account: Thomas Brundage, JLC.

DiMarzio: "Enough is enough!"

"Our church will no longer be the personal punching bag of the New York Times"


Maureen Dowd, op-ed columnist at the New York Times, has performed ridiculously. See here and here. She is entitled to her opinions but not her own facts; and her opinions, based on ignorance of the facts or willful negligence, are all the more flimsy and worthless due to the misrepresentations. Let's see if she will find the humility to make the necessary corrections in her next column.

Update:

Bishop William Lori of Connecticut writes in defense of the pope, with some questions for the New York Times and others: "The Holy Father That I Know." [PDF].

It appears that the timing of these articles is calculated. The March 25 New York Times story suggesting that then-Cardinal Ratzinger permitted a known offender to continue in ministry for almost thirty years was based upon documents provided to it by Jeffrey Anderson, an attorney who has received over $100 million suing Catholic institutions and who is now suing the Vatican itself. Mr. Anderson received these documents in discovery in December 2008. Why did he wait until now to hand them over to the Times? Was it to help his suit against the Vatican? [...] We don't know. We do know that Mr. Anderson controlled the timing, and the Times helped.

[...]

For our Church serving almost 70 million American Catholics, there were only six allegations of childhood sexual abuse by priests occurring in 2009. No other institution working with children gets close to this level of safe environment.

[...]

The police looked into the allegations regarding Father Murphy in 1970 and apparently found insufficient evidence to take any action. Nevertheless, Murphy lost his job as head of a school for the deaf and blind in 1970. He never received any Archdiocesan appointments thereafter. The documents the Times itself posts show that his removal was not "quiet" but that the police were informed, that there were protests and leafleteering, and that there was "disclosure and public humiliation in 1974." The Times documents also show that he was not "moved" to the Diocese of Superior, but that he returned to live with his mother in Junction, Wisconsin.

[...]

Peremptory suspension of faculties is a far more efficient means of removing a dangerous priest than going through an elaborate trial in Rome. The Times either hid the fact that Murphy was disciplined by suspension of his faculties because it did not comport with the story it wanted to tell, or because Mr. Anderson withheld the documents from the Times that detailed this discipline. Thus, the New York Times either lied in stating that Murphy suffered no discipline, or Mr. Anderson, through selective document disclosures, played the New York Times like a fiddle.

[...]

Here's what I know about Pope Benedict XVI and sexual abuse. [...] Under his leadership the Congregation provided bishops with crucial direction and support in canonically removing offending priests from ministry. In most circumstances, the Congregation approved direct administrative actions so bishops could discipline and remove priests without the delays and costs of full canonical trials.

[...]

I personally witnessed the pivotal and positive role that Cardinal Ratzinger played in helping the American bishops respond to the sexual abuse crisis. [...] Countless victims have been assisted. Priests who posed a danger to young people are out of ministry. Dioceses cooperate closely with law enforcement officials (contrary to the faulty op-ed piece by Frank Bruni in the New York Times). The Congregation also helped bishops of other countries deal with the sexual abuse crisis.

[...]

In January of this year, the U. S. Department of Justice reported that one out of ten young people incarcerated in government-run detention facilities were sexually victimized by their guards during the single year of 2008. This represents 2,370 victims. Where was the Times report? And the number of sexual abuse victims in public schools dwarfs the problem in juvenile detention facilities. [...] in Connecticut alone, 112 Connecticut public school teachers and coaches have lost their license to teach because of sexual contact with students since 1992; and 19 foster parents paid by the State of Connecticut have been disciplined for sexually abusing the children in their care since 2006. Where's the outrage and the calls for resignations [of government officials]?

New York Times publishes corrections.

Maryland Attorney General Brings Morality Into Marriage Law

Two women from Maryland went to D.C. to get a neutered marriage license. Scott Calvert has the typical feel-good piece clearly presented in favor of marriage neutering. One of the papers carrying it is the Los Angeles Times. There's actually some important information in it.

Gay couples from Maryland have been flocking to Washington this month since it began sanctioning same-sex marriages, joining five states. The staff at D.C. Superior Court has been too busy to sort applications by state, but a spokeswoman said it appeared that at least 25% of the 151 license-seekers the first day were from Maryland.

Proximity is not the only factor. A key impetus was last month's opinion by Maryland Atty. Gen. Douglas F. Gansler that Maryland should recognize same-sex nuptials performed out of state.

Should is an interesting word. They certainly are not obligated to, under DOMA. But "should" implies morality. Does morality apply to marriage law, or not?
In the emotional crucible of marriage politics, some lawmakers in Annapolis, the state capital, have been trying to blunt the force of the opinion, which directly affects only state agencies but has been hailed by gay rights advocates as a major step toward equality.
What's after that? I'd like to know before they start asking for it. Or do they mean moving on to the federal level? As far as I'm concerned, people are already equal, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Actually, this was not the first time they made their commitments. In 2008, they held a Jewish wedding before 150 family members and friends.
How do you have a Jewish wedding without a groom?
The inability to marry legally has been a constant source of pain and irritation, the couple say.
There are a lot of things about law and culture I could allow to be a pain or irritation in my life. It doesnt obligate everyone else to change anything, though. Grown ups learn to deal with reality.

Friday, March 26, 2010

The Sexual Tug-of-War -- A Genomic View

Such differences generate a sexual "conflict of interests," and since as a general rule each characteristic of an organism is regulated by the same set of genes in the two sexes, this conflict takes place at the genetic level. Using a combination of behavioral studies and genomic technology, researchers Paolo Innocenti and Ted Morrow have succeeded in getting a first insight into which genes are influenced by this type of sexual conflict.

"Our study shows that genes whose expression is beneficial to males are also detrimental to females, and vice versa," says Ted Morrow who led the study.

Very interesting indeed.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Poll Dancing Again in California

A Public Policy Institute of California poll is all over the news, such as in this LATimes.com blog entry by Shelby Grad, because of a claim that it shows 50% of Californians supporting "gay marriage".

In the blog entry, they continue to use the phrasing that we imposed a "ban on gay marriage", which as I've noted many times before, is a sloppy description.

According to the Public Policy Institute of California poll, 50% of respondents support gay marriage and 45% oppose it.
This is unclear. For example, someone can be supportive of their homosexual friend committing to a same-sex partner and getting a state domestic partnership, but not be in favor of repealing the California Marriage Amendment. Such a person can claim to support "gay marriage". I'd like to see what the results would be if the question was phrased as, "Do you want to repeal an amendment to the state constitution so as to make it the official policy of the state, which includes public schools, that there is no difference between a man and a woman getting a married and two men or two women getting married?"
The PPIC said it marks the highest level of support for gay marriage their polls have recorded in California.

I remember when the polls showed more "no" votes than "yes" votes for Proposition 8.

You can read previous blog entries relevant to this topic here, here, here, and here.

A few personal reflections of law school from 1999 to 2002

A few personal reflections of law school from 1999 to 2002
By Renee Aste
Lowell Massachusetts

My first year at Massachusetts School of Law was like any other, my electives the two following years did divulge into concerns relevant to personal relationships. Back in Fall of 2001, I took family law. Initially it presented itself as who can and can’t marry, consent of age, sanguinity, bigamy, and annulments. The great majority of the semester dealt with divorce, restraining orders, and learning how to calculate child support. It was indeed depressing.

Of that class I do remember watching a tape of the opening statements for the issue of civil unions in Vermont. It wasn’t connected to a lesson, but shown in class since it was a current issue of the time. I wasn’t impressed by either side, particularly the side in opposition of civil unions. The whole thing honestly was confusing, nothing concrete, and nothing established. How can you say it is going to harm public policy on marriage, if they are not asking for marriage directly?

What did impress me was a fellow student the semester prior in elder law. The class covered how nursing care was paid for, when can the government can ‘go after the house’, situations when the patient or assumption could not consent, and differing standards of health care proxies. We each had to do a small talk of a particular issue; one of my classmates, a middle aged gentleman did his on the concerns of homosexual couples.

More in the fold

My classmate did happen to be openly gay. I’m very grateful and proud that in Massachusetts that he was able to freely express his concerns in discussion with his classmates without fear. We didn’t judge his orientation, but just his facts. This was before the Goodridge case and he was sharing differing legal scenarios where the respect for the relationship between two adults was being ignored. Imagine shutting out a person’s trusted partner from the last moments of life or even being barred from the funeral. Being elder law, the issue wasn’t heterosexual behavior and minor children because many of us will be older and unmarried. Especially women, as men tend to die younger.

Yet why shouldn’t we limit this valid idea to just homosexual domestic partnerships, but equally to singles adults who could benefit equally? And sadly why do we have to completely invalidate the obligations men and women have to ensure the wellbeing of their children for this to happen?

Sanguine bonds are presumed to be of trust to our well being. Prior to our birth and as legal minors, intellectually and financially we are unable to survive on our own without someone caring for us. People tend to seek out relatives in times of a recession, natural disaster, or for someone to help us move. As we age roles reverse. We find ourselves as primary caregivers and decision makers of older relatives who need our help. We should give back to parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, even siblings and cousins who may fall ill or encounter hard times. We do this with little to no intervention from the government, and in return ideally the society promotes and protects such a resourceful concept called family though our laws.

When gay marriage supporters talk about adult relationships irrelevant to needs of children, they present something that does exist in our society and could be addressed. These relationships just are not inclusive to homosexual pairings though. Our most trusted person may be a neighbor or family friend to ensure our well-being. We may have a fallen out with relatives or simply they disagree in how we choose our adult lives. It may be an ethical disagreement on the end of life care or maybe you think your family are idiots and you want nothing to do with them.

Whatever the reason maybe, that if not married and an adult, we should have the ability to designate with consent and undesignated with notice. Designation doesn’t have to be mutual either; as I once read ‘Even best friends can not attend each others funerals’. Due to mutual obligation and cooperation in the best interests of potential offspring, married couples would not be free to designate, they would be stuck with one another.

I try to appreciate my experience at Massachusetts School of Law and being a member of the Massachusetts Bar. Yes, I indeed hold the title of Esquire professionally. I get frustrated though, when I’m required to look at the evidence, to search out and find for relevant facts, and instead I see around me lawyers and others create legal fiction or deny reality. I’m not in a courtroom, but a citizen speaking out that public policy. We should be able recognize differing behavior and relationships in their own right, then follow through on in tangible terms of how we can help protect people in distinct circumstances.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Love, sex and the male brain

An excellent look at some of the differences between men and women, and how they are interconnected to their children as well as spouses. I'm sharing my favorite tidbit, but it by no means gives a flavor for the scope of the rest of the article. Very well done.

And a word to the wise for all the young mothers who are reluctant to let your husbands hold and care for your newborn. The more hands-on care a father gives his infant, the more his brain aligns with the role of fatherhood. So, hand over the baby.

Anticonstitution Groups Fighting Ruling

To update this story, the Associated Press is reporting that the groups fighting to remove the California Marriage Amendment, despite their professed love of equality, will be appealing a ruling that imposed an equal disclosure requirement on them.

The American Civil Liberties Union and Equality California notified U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker on Tuesday while asking him to temporarily suspend his order.

The judge granted the request and gave the groups until March 29 to determine if the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals will hear their objections.

Hopefully, equality will prevail and the defenders of the California Marriage Amendment (Proposition 8) will be able to review the material and present more evidence before closing arguments. I have to wonder what the marriage neutering advocates are so eager to hide, considering how they were all for disclosure when it came to their opponents.

Who chooses?

Recently I've seen a lot of media attention, both colloquial and professional, on the passing of a health care bill. One that we find is unpopular in the poles and has even prompted a number of 'yes' voting congress people to simply retire rather than run again with that vote on their recent record. I'll admit the lines between direct democracy and the republic of representational government do not allow for a razor to gut this beast cleanly. But one question does come down to a final yes or no answer. And that question is do we get to determine our governance, or not? Are we not the final arbiter of our rights and liberties?

Bill Whittle, an author I routinely read, has published a very good essay on the "why" of the United States of America. There are a number of reasons to link to it here, if not just for this quote it carries from Abraham Lincoln...

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.

But I urge you to read it, for the prominence and memorializing of a single concept ... that we as a people determine our own governance. Not only can we be the best arbiters of ultimate justice, but giving us the exercise in doing so will help us to learn and do even better in that most critical of responsibilities.

I'm bringing it up now, and here, because we at Opine have been observing a struggle over our democracy for a while over the marriage issue. Looking back at what has eroded since, I would say the issue of marriage has been the canary in the coal mine for our democracy. We've seen marriage defended by popular vote with amazing regularity. But as a result we've seen those who wish to neuter marriage find more and more egregious ways to overcome the burden of citizens and barrier of their self-determination. And the last great day of Republican power in congress, the last day when they looked like they would hold on to power for another decade or so, was when they voted on the FMA -- and voted it down. After that its been all down hill even though as a populous we continue to defend marriage in their absence.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Prop 8 Foes Finally Ordered to Disclose

U.S. District Chief Judge Vaughn Walker, upholding a previous ruling by a federal magistrate, has finally ordered the marriage neutering advocates and anti-state constitution groups to hand over some documents related to their opposition of Proposition 8, which became California's Marriage Amendment. Walker, you may recall, is the judge in the federal trial that is awaiting closing arguments and a verdict. Proposition 8 backers had been ordered long ago to hand over internal documents. This imbalance is why the defenders of the constitutional amendment reserved the right to present more evidence in the trial. Lisa Leff reports for the Associated Press.
Civil rights groups that campaigned against California's same-sex marriage ban must surrender some of their internal campaign memos and e-mails to lawyers for the other side, a federal judge ruled Monday.

1. Civil rights groups? That's a stretch.

2. It's not a ban.

3. In the interest of equality, I hope that "some" matches the forced disclosure on the other side.

And wouldn't you know it? The marriage neutering advocates don't like the order to hand over some of their stuff, even though they insisted the other side had to fork over internal documents.

The ACLU and Equality California, the state's largest gay rights group, had argued that the campaign documents being sought were irrelevant to the Proposition 8 lawsuit. They also claimed it was unfair to make them bear the expense of sifting through tens of thousands of old e-mails.
Yes, but it's equality. Ain't equality grand?
In rejecting the groups' arguments, Walker said Magistrate Joseph Spero took substantial steps to make the task easier, including listing specific search terms for culling relevant material from computer files and limiting the material to documents dealing with campaign arguments formulated to fight the gay marriage ban.

I wonder what those terms are?

We're asking. Are they telling?

Previously:

Your Papers, Please

Your Papers, Now!

Losing Even After Winning

Monday, March 22, 2010

Another Reason to Not Go into Business

At least not using your family home. A British bed & breakfast owner is investigated by police because she turned away a same-sex couple. The Equality Act 2006 makes it illegal to discriminate against people because of their sexual orientation. The Daily Mail reports.

'She said she was sorry and she was polite in a cold way and she was not abusive, so we asked our money back and she gave it to us.'

He added: 'We were very shocked, and of course angry, that it happened. Neither of us has ever experienced homophobia before and I have been out since 1974.'

Did she express any fear, let alone an irrational fear? Again, we see the word homophobia misapplied.

[More after the jump.]

'We felt we were treated like lepers and not fit to be under the same roof as her.'
She probably wouldn't let her daughter's boyfriend stay in the same room as her daughter. Does that mean she doesn't think her daughter is fit to be under the same roof as her?
'We have stayed in plenty of guest houses in Britain and abroad and have never had a problem.'
So why the need to stay in this one? You got your money back, and were free to pursue other accommodations, rewarding somebody else with your money.
'I don't see why I should change my mind and my beliefs I've held for years just because the government should force it on me,' she said. 'I am not a hotel, I am a guest house and this is a private house.'
Unfortunately, freedom of association, freedom of conscience, and property rights go out the window in favor of protecting the feelings of certain people. If a Muslim were to turn me away because I am a Christian, I would simply go elsewhere. If a feminist were to turn me away because I'm a man, I would simply go elsewhere.

The meaning of words change all the time…

The meaning of words change all the time…
By Renee Aste
Lowell Massachusetts

We could argue marriage as a word is no different. A word with no special status compared to any other word. If individuals want to change a word in our laws, should we say ‘no you can’t?’

But wait a moment; we can turn the argument around.
Why isn’t homosexual pairings good enough for its own term?
Are we not tolerant as a society to recognize a homosexual relationship in its own right?

We give terms to all sorts of differing relationships all the time, for example bromance or ‘friends with benefits’, yes even domestic partnerships or civil unions. Domestic partnerships and civil unions are created out of legal terminology though; words like marriage/family/bromance/’friends with benefits’ are not.

People create words through daily discussion of ideas within their culture, not through governments. Governments may enact legislation for that idea, but the idea needs a name from society first. In some cultures there may not have been a formal record of the marriage, but the event indeed at some point could be objectively pinpointed. Marriage was not a ceremony or a piece of paper but simply the consummation of the male/female conjugal act or a man may simply be accepted by the woman’s family and allowed to live with them.

More in the fold

It could be assumed that as civilization became more understanding of the world, we would be able to distinguish more of it through language. As language developed, we could give names to new ideas and thoughts in our growth. As example cultures may have several terms for the word love, and create terms to denote what each word means in its own significance.

Governments don’t have the ability fake out biology and pretend they don’t know where babies come from, but apparently with enough political donations from specials interests they will sure try to. As a matter of law, we’re unable to speak of procreation within its natural origins of heterosexual activity because apparently discriminates against homosexual activity. Due to a misapplication of law to distinguish orientation (a state of being) from behavior (a physical act), it is harder then ever to discuss over pertinent issues involving kinship and it’s obligations because we are unable to define it.

Human beings exist today due to biological reproduction. In biology, reproduction involves two sexes of the species; one is designated female and the other male. Many scientists and ordinary individuals believe sex’s only purpose is natural selection. So it is rather odd at one end many accept the theory of evolution in which values only reproducing or values sacredness in human fertility, but on the other we deny that sexual relationships have anything to do with its natural outcome; procreation.

One Less Reason to Neuter Marriage in USA

Advocates for neutering state marriage licensing have argued that it is necessary so someone can be added to their same-sex partner's health insurance and for hospital visitation.

However, it is now being established by federal legislation that 1. the federal government can dictate the smallest details of health care, and 2. everyone will have health insurance.

So now a neutered marriage license is not necessary to obtain those things - health insurance or hospital visitation.

Of course, there will now be less incentive for people in general to marry or work out conflicts and stay married, or care about keeping their jobs, for that matter.

The government continues to become a parent/spouse/pastor, to the detriment of the family.

Rauch: "A woman without a uterus".

Posted by Chairm.

Jonathan Rauch is the author of the pro-SSM book, "Gay Marriage". There are SSMers in the blogosphere who attempt to imitate Rauch's SSM argumentation -- or at least some bits and pieces of it. I think that we might as well consider Rauch in his own words.

Below are snippets from one of the more elaborate attempts to invoke the Sterility Strawman.

Biologically speaking?

What about heterosexual couples in which one or the other partner is sterile? There are millions of them, and they are no more capable of procreating than my [same-sex sexual] partner, Michael, and I are. Some people are naturally infertile, some men and women have had themselves sterilized, some women have had hysterectomies, and of course women past menopause are infertile. Biologically speaking, a homosexual union is nothing but one variety of sterile union, and no different even in principle: a woman without a uterus is no more open to procreation than a man without a uterus.

Rauch misleads by comparing 'homosexual couples' and 'heterosexual couples'. The limit of two does not logically apply to one side of his comparison.

Biologically speaking, human fertility is based on the complementarity of opposite sexes. The absence of the other sex creates a difference in kind, not a difference in degree. Two sexes versus one sex. The scenarios provide a comparison between fertility and nonfertility.

[Click here to read the rest of the blogpost.]

* * *

Biologically speaking, homosexual orientation is not an impairment of human fertility. Not for the individual nor for the "union" or "couple" or a parade of persons of the same sex. Rauch means to use "homosexual union" as proxy for a particular type of same-sex scenario: but any scenario that lacks the other sex is nonfertile and is never infertile nor fertile. It does not become sterile. It is constantly nonfertile. The number one determines that. The number two does not change that. Neither does homosexuality nor heterosexuality. A scenario that lacks the other sex is nonfertile whether or not the individuals are homosexual or heterosexual or othersexual. A lone individual is as nonfertile as a roomful of individuals of the same sex -- regardless of sexual orientation. This is true of all same-sex scenarios even if the individual(s) would be fertile with the other sex.

Note that Rauch will switch back and forth between the "union" (or couple) and the individual. This is very sloppy of him. If it reflects his thinking, that sloppiness is a fatal flaw in his arugmentation. If it reflects his deliberate misuse of language, then, his rhetoric is designed to mislead rather than enlighten.

Rauch misleads by deftly using rhetoric to reposition homosexuality as a biological marker for infertililty. He is really comparing the lack of the other sex with an actual disability. He attempts to recruit the "woman without a uterus". In so doing he invokes, however vaguely and automatically, the notion of a biological basis for homosexuality that is supposeldy the equivalent of the biological basis for human fertility.

Rauch pivoting in circles on a 'fundamental point'.

It may sound like carping to stress the case of barren heterosexual marriage; the vast majority of first-time hesterosexual newlyweds, afterall, can have children and probably will. But the point here is fundamental. There are at least as many sterile heterosexual couples in America as homosexual ones, and every one of them is allowed to marry. If the possibility of procreation is what gives meaning to marriage, then a postmenopausal woman who applies for a marriage license should be turned away at the courthouse door. What's more, she should be hooted at and condemned for breaking the crucial link between marriage and procreation, for stretching the meaning of marriage beyond all recognition, and for reducing the institution to frivolity.

Chairm: His fundamental point should not be obscured by his carping. Read on and search for it, but please note the following.

Rauch asserted that the absolute number of sterile married couples is no more than the absolute number of homosexual couples. Or did he mean the other way around? It is a fanciful assertion either way.

Note his quick switch from couple to individual as he now recruits the postmenopausal woman. And his switch from the general (the meaning of marriage) to the particular (the individual entering marriage).

Put more starkly.

Their real position is that the possiblity of procreation defines marriage when homosexuals are involved, but not when heterosexuals are involved. To put the point more starkly, sterility disqualifies all homosexuals from marriage, but it disqualifies no heterosexuals. So the distinction is not pro-creation (much less pro-children) at all. It is merely antihomosexual.

Chairm: His fundamental point is that homosexuality is a form of sterility. Society does not prohibit on the basis of the individual's sterility so society should not prohibit on the basis of the individual's homosexuality.

But, of course, there is no homosexual criterion for ineligiblity to marry. Just as homosexuality is not infertility nor is it sterility.

In fact, the existence of millions of mixed-orientation marriages disproves Rauch's fundamental point. As does the existence of the children of such marriages. As does the vast majority of those children residing in same-sex housholds who migrated from the previously procreative relationship of mon-dad parents (usually husband-wife union or unwed cohabitation). If the absolute count of particular types of situations matters, as per Rauch's own remarks, then, he has invoked proportionality as a legitimate consideration. He does not pursue it very well nor very far.

Rauch begins and ends with an emphasis on homosexuality. His fundamental point is another assertion of the primacy of gay identity politics in his SSM argumentation.

He has much more to say on this topic.

Manufacturing the insane strawmen.

[M]arriage is about children but not only about chidren. It is also about happiness, security, safety, prosperity, good health, sound mind, altruism, personal growth, sex (the elderly have it, too), and -- did I almost forget to mention? -- love. A state which takes no interest in helping citizens and communities secure these benefits is a very shortsighted state indeed -- which may be why no such state exits. I have never heard of any jurisdiction anywhere which either conditions marriage on fertility or imagines that doing so would be a sane public policy. (Write me if I'm wrong.)

Rauch has said nothing that would differentiate the type of relationship he has in mind, when he favors a gay subset of nonmarriage, such that this type merits special treatment on par with marital status.

He does suggest that same-sex sexual behavior is meritorous and worthy of preferential societal regard. He also suggests that it would be insane for the government not to provide benefits based on "love". He clearly is referring to same-sex sexual love.

Recall his fundamental point: there is no prohibition based on the individual's sterility. And yet is there such a prohibition based on an indivdual's same-sex sexual behavior or "love"? Nope.

To be charitable, Rauch depends on the reader automatically switching from the individual back to the societal meaning of the type of relationship he has in mind. To avoid confusion, he should be explicit about this back and forth movement between the particular and the general. I do not believe he is a lazy writer nor a lazy thinker and so, with regret, I believe this to be a deliberate rhetorical device.

Tap dancing with the indispensable strawman.

To exclude homosexuals, people who hold to the possiblity-of-procreation line cannot just say that procreation is one of a number of justification for marriage. They have to say it is the only justification, or at least the only one worth bothering with, because all the rest -- providing caregivers, domesticating young adults, bolstering economic security, looking after chidren -- can apply to homosexuals. But then,having said that the possibility of procreation is the only rationale for marriage, they immediately sabatoge even that rationale by refusing to apply it to sterile heterosexuals. Here is where the possiblity-of-procreation argument turns destructive: in its fixation on excluding homosexuals, it leaves no consistent rationale for the privileged status of heterosexual marriage. Its advocates tear away any coherent foundation which secular marriage might have -- precisely the opposite of what they claim they want to do. If they have to undercut marriage to save it from the homosexuals, so be it!

Chairm: No, we do not have to say it is the only justification. Rauch is mistaking the shorthand used for the actual meaning of the defense of marriage.

But he continues to describe the type of relationship he has in mind and in so doing he does not differentiate it from the rest of nonmarriage.

The core meaning of marriage is not a "fixation on excluding homosexuals". The special reason for special status is the combination of sex integration and responsible procreation. That's the general idea. It is the marriage idea. But it clearly is not Rauch's SSM idea.

Throughout his book, Rauch tears away at the coherency of this foundational social institution. He does this with a symathetic nod, here and there, to marriage as social institution, but ultimately he undercuts it with narrow and legalistic "gotacha" claims and hyperbolic loopholes.

Worth, meaning, and Rauch's worst idea.

The resulting message is not just peculiar, it is antimarriage. If you say that marriage without the possiblity of procreation isn't worth having, you also say, "We don't care if people who can't conceive kids shack up instead of marrying. Their marriages are worthless anyway. We don't care if they divorce, either. Their commitment is meaningless from society's point of view." I can't think of a worse message for marrige. Or a sillier one.

Mercifully, the possibility-of-procreation crowd is only kidding. In my years of discussing same-sex marriage, I have encountered only two people who seriously suggested that, in an ideal world, sterility should be a bar to marriage. [...] Everyone else either squirms or changes the subject.

The subject is not sterility falsely applied to homosexuality. The subject is marriage, as a social institution, which Rauch would gut of its core meaning. Marriage, thus abandoned, would become a diminished, and desinstutitonalized, social construct. Then it would match the SSM idea.

On balance, it is true that childless marriage is a type of arrangement that is of considerably less concern, societally speaking, than procreative marriage. But marriage integrates the sexes and that's no small matter. Childless marriage entails more societal concern than one-sexed scenarios. For that matter, the gay subset of one-sexed scenarios that Rauch favors is no more worthy of protections than the rest of nonmarriage.

Please note: I referred to "childless marriage" not to marriages. Rauch would confuse the general with the particular on a case-by-case basis.

And, no, marriage defenders do not say that types of relationships outside of marriage are worthless; nor that various types of nonmarital commitment are meaningless, least of all where vulnerabilities are created by the lack of (or diminishment of) sex integration and responsible procreation. There are many types of procreative and nonprocreative types of nonmarital arrangements that are as worthy, or more worthy, of protection as is Rauch's favored subset of nonmarriage. The pro-marriage view is deeply pro-child in regard to the defense of the core of marriage and in regard to extending protections to vulnerable families outside of marriage. Sexual orientation is not a disqualifier.

Rauch blandly puts nonsense into the mouths of marriage defenders precisely because he cannot think of a worse message. "Mercifully" he does not mean it but merclessly he knowingly presents a strawman argument for the sake of his polemic.

The remainder of his remarks on this topic look an awful lot like Rauch squirming to elide the actual disagreement regarding responsible procreation and sex integration.

For now, I'll leave it up to my fellow Opiners and our readership to respond to what Rauch says next:

Rauch's selective compassion.

Even if you believe nonprocreative marriage cannot be as good as procreative marriage, that is no reason to ban it, much less to ban it inconsistently only for homosexuals. Softening the argument, in that sense, only sharpens the blow, because it heightens the contrast between the sympathetic and supportive treatment that barren heterosexual marriages receive and the flat legal prohibition of homosexual marriages. When I see a heterosexual couple who have made a successful marriage despite being unable to have children, I see their devotion as, if anything, all the more admirable. Anyway, the last thing I would think to do is disparage their marriage as frivolous or unworthy, and I can't imagine regarding it with hostility. Why treat homosexual unions with any less compassion?

Rauch's all or nothing.

Another squirm: "But all homosexual unions are sterile. Only some heterosexual ones are. For heterosexuals, barreness is the exception. For homosexuals, it is the rule." Again, no help, unless you think homosexual individuals don't matter as much as infertile heterosexual individuals do. After all, postmenopausal women are also a barren class -- and a large one. No one lumps them together and says, "None of them can procreate. We have to shut them out to defend the link between marriage and procreation." Imagine if infertile heterosexuals all developed a birthmark on their foreheads, making them easily identifiable as a class. Would anybody favor barring them from marriage? Would anyone even think of it?

Arbitrariness is eschewed but embraced.

Just because procreation is a purpose of marriage doesn't mean that only fertile couples should be allowed to marry. Infertile couples, including gay couples, should be allowed to marry. Infertile couples, including gay couples, should be allowed to marry, too. But it appears that, with all this talk of procreation and marriage, we are just wasting our time. The real reason homosexual couples can't marry is that their marrying would violate the very definition ("essence") of marriage, which is that . . . only heterosexual couples can marry! At long last, who knows how many words later, we are back where we started: at "because I said so" or "because God or nature said so" or, really, "because you just can't."

Chairm: Overall, I think the worst message, and the silliest message, that Rauch thought-up was that "biologically speaking" a gay man is a woman without a uterus.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Marriage shapes the motive for joining it.

Posted by Chairm

"To treat marriage simply as the seal set upon a (possibly fleeting) sexual relationship, rather than a mutual assumption of the burden of social reproduction, is to deprive the institution of its rationale."

-- Roger Scruton, professor of philosphy at the University of Buckingham, writing in The Meaning of Marriage, 2006.

The marital relationship is transformative. The man makes the woman his wife and the woman makes the man her husband. In the normal course of things, husbands and wives become fathers and mothers. Their children become the next generation of men and women, husbands and wives, fathers and mothers.

First and foremost a social institution.

Across society the social institution works its influence: it makes normative the marital basis for sexual relations and for generating the next generation. This is a public relationship that arises from the two-sexed nature of humankind, the opposite-sexed nature of human procreation, and the both-sexed nature of human community. The human institution of marriage bonds them and holds them together as much as, if not more than, their private sexual commitment one to the other.

Weaken the meaning of the social institution and weaken its rationale; abandon its rationale and abandon the societal preference for marriage.

That is how social institutions are destroyed -- or de-institutionalized. Marriage is no exception despite its foundational importance to civilization. Yet, despite this peril, marriage is a universal institution across the anthropological and historical record. The SSM idea, not so much.

Sexual difference.

In a paper appearing in The Meaning of Marriage, a book of essays by various authors, Roger Scruton wrote that the central issue in society's regard for marriage is "the place of sexual difference in desire and in all that is built on desire."

[Click here to read the rest of the blogpost.]

He explained that the man-woman sexual relationship "is imbued with the sense that your partner's sexual nature is strange to you, a territory into which you intrude without prior knowledge and in which the other and not the self is the only reliable guide."

He continued:

"This experience has profound repercusssions for our sense of the danger and the mystery of sexual union, and these reprecussions are surely part of what people have had in mind, in clothing marriage as a sacrament and in the ceremony of marriage as a rite of passage from one form of safety to another. Traditional marriage was not only a way of endorsing and guaranteeing the raising of children. It was also a dramatization of sexual difference."

Speaking of the not-too-distant past (like 10 minutes ago) when society's preference for the marital sexual relationships was an uncontested social fact of life, Scruton wrote that the coming together of the sexes,

"became an existential leap, rather than a passing experiment. The intentionality of desire was shaped by this, and even if the shaping was -- at some deep level -- a cultural and not a human universal, it endowed desire with its intrinsic nuptiality, and marriage with its transformatory goal. To regard gay marriage as simply another option within the institution is to ignore the fact that an institution shapes the motive for joining it.

"Marriage has grown around the idea of sexual difference and all that sexual difference means. To make this feature accidental rather than essential is to change marriage beyond recognition. Homosexuals want marriage because they want the social endorsement that it signifies; but by admitting same-sex marriage we deprive marriage of its social meaning, as the blessing conferred by the unborn on the living. The pressure for same-sex marriage is therefore in a certain measure self-defeating. It resembles [English King] Henry VIII's move to gain ecclesiastical endorsement for his divorce by making himself head of the Church. The Church that endorsed his divorce thereby ceased to be the Church whose endorsement he was seeking."

I refer to Roger Scruton not as an expert whose words decide the matter but rather as yet another voice who puts forth the view that this is the crux of the matter.

And, in the manner of Scruton's reference to King Henry VIII, I think that the SSM idea is stuck on stupid because it argues against the justification for the special status marriage while seeking to gain this status for SSM.

Same as marriage but different from the rest?

SSM does not share with marriage the centrality of sex integration. Nor the centrality of responsible procreation. SSMers remind us of this all the time. The SSM campaign has pretty much denounced the importance placed on marriage as social institution and instead has emphasized marriage as legal creature owned by Government. Well, for the sake of argument, let's suppose that SSMers are right on these points.

What then is the SSM idea's essential features? That is, what is the stuff without which SSM would not be SSM, in their view of Government's creature?

SSMers continue to fail to distinguish the type of relationship they have in mind (aka SSM) from the rest of the types of relationships and types of living arrangements that are also in the nonmarriage category. They fail to show that the essentials of the SSM idea are 1) shared by marriage and 2) not shared by nonmarriage. Many don't even bother to try.

On the the other hand, they unfailingly begin by pointing at Government licensing while skipping past the type of thing that is licensed. That is, the pre-government thing; the thing that exists before pinning the label and license and status on it.

But they do openly emphasize gayness. They do seek societal endorsement of gayness -- via license and special status for SSM. Yet they insist that objective and societal reasons for showing preference for marriage are superseded by the subjective and personal motivations of those who demand that society issue licenses.

With such thinking, SSM argumentation runs a winding path upon which many SSMers become disorientated and lost. But ultimately they are blunt: the essentials of marriage are not the business of society, they say. It is far more a matter of privacy rather than public regard. Government is not society, they assert, and what's more, Government dictates to society.

Leave us alone and treat us special.

And yet, even at that, with personal motivations superseding societal concerns, and with Government seperated from and looming above the governed, they say that low participation rates and low interest in same-sex householding are irrelevant factors. SSM is not a good means to deliver government benefits to a largely nonparticipating homosexual population. Nonetheless, they are convinced that society as a whole must give special treatment to this SSM idea and this marginal practice. Their end justifies their means.

This is a poor substitute for the marriage idea, for the principles of good governance, and for the rationale for special place of marriage in civilization. It is a dangerous idea to complain about the supposed arbitrariness of marriage law and then to rely on the arbitrary exercise of governmental authority to impose a merger of SSM with marriage.

Patched together from remnants and self-referential dogma.

The SSM idea is hacked together from the remnants of various academic arguments that conceptually deconstruct the social institution of marriage. But this is a fragile fabrication and depends on the dogma of identity politics to glue it together.

SSM is not an organic social idea and nowhere is it but a marginal practice -- in whatever form -- within the modern homosexual population itself. This is the case even in heavily pro-gay places.

Contrary to the SSM campaign, the SSM idea is not one and the same as the marriage idea. Nor does the SSM idea self-justify. Nor does it self-sustain. Its "truth" is not self-evident. It is an idea rich in fatal contradictions and impoverished by the lack of essential features. Its argumentation is self-defeating.

But the hardline SSMers make it abundantly clear that SSM is not intended to sustain itself nor to justify itself. Nor to become a rich depository of meaning that is evident even to the most sympathetic neutral observer. The SSM idea is not a social construct for shaping homosexual behavior. Its purpose, and likely outcome, is not to make the practice of SSM normative for the homosexual population; the purpose of the SSM idea is to make homosexuality normative for the rest of society. To get from here to there, the marriage idea must be quashed. The SSM idea is driven by a leap of faith in the primacy of gay identity politics. As I've said before, for these hardliners this is not about justice but about "just us". And so they arrogantly self-reference and thus reveal the true meaning of their endorsement of the SSM idea itself. It is their idea and they believe, on faith alone, that it is their gift to society. Of course, it would be a gift imposed rather than a gift freely accepted. And one with repressive reprecussions.

Trojan Horse. Where's the threat?

Worse of all, the merger of marriage with SSM can not be sustained without Government enforcement of the hostile notion that the core meaning of civlization's foundational social institution, its rationale, is intolerable.

That is the reason that SSMers have come to demand that the big hand of Government become the servant of identity politics of the gaycentric kind. It began with pleas for tolerance and has rapidly progressed to demands for crushing dissent and opposition both in the law, social policy, and culture.

The marriage idea does not come with this political baggage. It is an organic idea that has sustained itself for millennia. Its opposite-sexed basis is sexual, social, moral, and conceptual.

The threat of the SSM campaign is that this rich inheritance will be squandered for no good reason. Indeed, to reject the core meaning of marriage requires an extraordinarily good reason for such an extraordinarily destructive act of Government.

None has been forthcoming.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Marriage Neutering in New York, New Jersey, and Old Mexico

Let's get an update, shall we? Edith Honan of Reuters tells us what is going on in New York.

A group called Fight Back New York, created with money from software entrepreneur and openly gay philanthropist Tim Gill, is pledging to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to get pro-gay marriage candidates elected to the state Senate in November's elections.

Advocates aim to bring the issue of same-sex marriage to the Senate floor as early as next year. The legislature voted three months ago to reject a similar bill.

Notice that the article uses "gay" incorrectly as there is nothing in the marriage law dealing with sexual orientation - homosexual people, like heterosexual people, can now marry someone of the opposite sex. If the law is changed, everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, can get a brideless or groomless pairing licensed as marriage. A lot of articles and commentaries make this mistake.

Five U.S. states have legalized gay marriage -- Iowa, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont -- and the District of Columbia began allowing same-sex marriages earlier this month.

But 40 other states have specific laws banning it. Voters in Maine repealed a gay marriage law recently, and the New Jersey legislature rejected a gay marriage bill.

A federal court in California is now hearing a legal challenge to the state's ban on gay marriage, known as Proposition 8, that was approved by voters in 2008.

So there's your update on where things are standing. (Oh, and most of those laws aren't "bans", either.)

[Much more after the jump.]

Maggie Gallagher, president of the National Organization for Marriage which opposes same-sex marriage, said gay rights advocates face an uphill battle.

Again, notice the language – "opposes same-sex marriage", not something like "promotes and defends marriage as uniting the sexes".

The article goes on to describe how theater groups are getting involved. Rumor has it that there are a few homosexual people in those circles, after all, and they are certainly used to dealing with fantasy.

Peggy Ackermann reports on what has been going on in New Jersey today, where activists are again asking for the state's Supreme Court to neuter marriage.

It starts out this way:

Six same-sex couples today will ask the New Jersey Supreme Court to allow gays to marry, their attorney said.
"Allow gays to marry"? They are already allowed to marry. They just haven't been able to force the people of New Jersey to neuter state marriage licensing.
The Supreme Court ruled in 2006 in Lewis vs. Harris that committed same-sex couples deserve the same rights and obligations as married people.
Why? Marriage is for something, and as such should be treated different than nonmarriage. Where is the compelling reason to treat a different kind of voluntary association the same?

Later that year, state lawmakers legalized civil unions, which were to confer all the benefits of marriage on same-sex couples without using the term "marriage."

But gay and lesbian couples and advocacy group Garden State Equality have said the civil union law has not worked and they continued to seek a law giving them the right to marry.

And what have the problems been? This...
Same-sex couples "are blocked from seeing their loved ones during medical emergencies; their state-designated status confuses medical providers, especially in times of crisis," the court papers say. "They find it harder to get medical coverage and care than do their married counterparts, as their state-imposed second-class status has encouraged employers to exclude them from coverage."
This can all be dealt with without neutering marriage. But private employers and organizations and your Aunt Edna should not be confused with state government.
Opponents maintain marriage is the union of one man and one woman, and some clergy also say legalizing same-sex marriage would impinge on religious freedom.
It isn't just clergy.
Those opposing same-sex marriage have called for the public to decide the matter in a constitutional ballot question.
And we all know why the marriage neutering advocates don't want to face that.

The state Senate voted down gay marriage in January, triggering today's return to the Supreme Court.

"In 2006, we won equality for lesbian and gay couples in New Jersey, and it's 2010 and the state has not delivered," Gorenberg said.

So if you "won equality" in 2006, then that means that you agree it is possible to have equality without neutering marriage. That means there's nothing wrong with things like California's Proposition 8, since California treats domestic partners as spouses.

Mexico City has been neutering marriage for several days now, as Tracy Wilkinson reported in the Los Angeles Times. The law also gives brideless or groomless couples adoption powers.

Judith Vazquez wore an ivory wedding dress. So did her bride.
Sorry. No groom, no bride. You're two women, not two brides.

The law was passed by the Mexico City legislature in December and applies only to the capital. It is the most far-reaching gay-rights law in Latin America and one of several measures that have put the city and its leaders at odds with the more conservative country.

"This is a historic day," presiding judge Hegel Cortes said shortly after pronouncing Vazquez and Castaneda "legitimately united in matrimony."

Does he even know the meaning of "matrimony"? Apparently not.
The federal government of President Felipe Calderon, a conservative Catholic, filed a challenge to the law last month, arguing that it violates the rights and protections of families and children. The city's legal advisor, Leticia Bonifaz, said she didn't expect a ruling for a year or more.
So, like in the U.S., it sounds like may ultimately come down to the highest court. Sounds like this isn't something done in isolation...
Under Ebrard and his left-wing party, Mexico City has enacted a number of liberal laws and programs, including the legalization of abortion, that may seem out of step with the rest of the country.
If there's anything the children of Mexico City need, it is to be adopted into a motherless home, should they survive abortion.

Orson Scott Card: "Parenting is No. 1 in importance"

As my friend wrote in that same letter: "My oldest boy is so much like me it hurts. I have to survive to be there for him. My youngest -- my circus acrobat -- is much like his mother."

He is studying his children, as my wife and I studied ours. We didn't always act as they wanted us to, and sometimes we allowed our own feelings and weaknesses to interfere. But we all learned from each other and made a home for each other, as they are now making their own lives (even the teenager who is still at home).

We look at their lives now and the question of "success" or "failure" doesn't even make sense. That's an on-off switch that doesn't exist in the real world. We can succeed at everything that is within our power and still have negative outcomes; but then we deal with those outcomes as best we can; and every step of the way, we succeed as long as we care enough to do our best for our kids.

A while back I would have included this in a series about the power of religion. This is a completely secular idea, but unfortunately is left to religious people to make. Only the religious people seem to be even trying. And that is, as I always lament, the problem with the secular movement.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Washington Post's article on Gays’ mixed feelings about marriage

The Washington Post reports on the reluctance of some gay couples to get married, even though it is now legal. On the same day, the Post reports on how the new law recognizing same sex marriage has been costly to others in the District of Columbia, including Catholic Charities, and the people they serve.

So given these costs, and the divisiveness surrounding same sex marriage, don’t you think the gay community, and the Post could have the decency to keep these doubts out of the front and center of the public eye? I mean, we have been given to believe that the self-respect of every gay man and lesbian woman was on the line in the legalization of same sex marriage. We’ve been led to believe that the burdens on same sex couples are simply not to be borne, and beyond the imagining of any heterosexual couple. And now that same sex couples have the right to marry, why aren’t they rushing to the altar?

Here are some of the reasons, in their own words:

"Some say that although they committed to their partners long ago in their hearts, they oppose the idea of marriage as an institution — especially because it is one that so often collapses."

“I’m not against gay marriage in any way, shape or form, but having been married before, I think you legitimately have concerns about the failure of marriage in general for the majority of people,” said Nash Blain, 43, a lawyer in Harpers Ferry, W.Va., who was married to a man for eight years before she and Marla Seymour, 57, a bookseller, got together 13 years ago."

Blain said she can think of few happy marriages, and she still chafes at the memory of receiving letters addressed to “Mr. and Mrs.” followed by her husband’s name. “I think it’s very hard not to have some diminishment of each person occur.”

Ms Blain, didn’t you know these potential pitfalls of marriage before the City Council rammed same sex marriage through, over the objections of many in the community? Were you there to tell them it wasn’t really worth that much to you that your neighbors should be forced to conform to the City Council’s new definition of marriage? (BTW: what does a person like MsBlain, who used to straight before she was gay, do to the claim that sexual orientation is a fixed and immutable, legally recognizable and definable trait?)

Other couples in successful long-term relationships might balk at marrying because they don’t want to upset their balance, said Mark Forrest, a licensed social worker in Boston, where same-sex marriage has been legal since 2004. “They may have gotten into a routine with each other and never expected this to come up, and it may be too disturbing” to introduce a new dynamic.

So disturbing. So sad. The Archdiocese of Washington had to redefine their spousal health benefits to accomodate the District’s new invented definition of spouse. All for people who can’t handle a “new dynamic.”

"As with heterosexual couples, the reasons for one same-sex partner balking are myriad. Some simply aren’t ready to commit; others refuse to consider marrying until the right is extended nationwide and includes federal benefits."

So, after ramming same sex marriage through the DC City Council, the radicals are still not satisfied: nothing but the national same sex marriage and the federal benefits of marriage is sufficient to induce them to take advantage of the institution they have gone to such trouble to gut for everyone else.

“It’s so personally revolting to me,” said Rhodes, 36, who has been in a committed relationship with a man for 13 years.

“I’d rather see marriage abolished than see me married,” he said as he ate lunch in a Columbia Heights cafe with his partner, Bray Creech. “The materialism of it, what I perceive as kind of a narcissism. Like all the money and decoration. . . . I have no interest in having a performance, which to me is what weddings are.”

Interesting comment. Is the abolition of marriage the real goal? Some of us have suspected so for some time.

“There’s a whole segment of the [gay] community for whom the marriage equality bit seems way too heteronormative,” mimicking conventional heterosexual practices, said Suzanne Scott, director of women and gender studies at George Mason University. “Some would even argue that marriage is an outdated norm based on archaic rules.”

Why do they want to participate so badly in an outmoded institution?

"Some of the considerations are practical. Creech, an accountant, who shares a home and dogs with Rhodes in Adams Morgan, said that after years of arguing (with his partner), he has largely given up on his dream of a wedding. Still, “my biggest fear is the hospital thing — that he would be in the hospital hurt, and I wouldn’t be able to see him. That terrifies me.”

Of course, in many states, including CA for sure, the hospital visitation problem has been solved for years through the Domestic Partnership laws. If you don’t get married, don’t form a domestic partnership, you can’t very well be mad at society for not taking you seriously when you demand hospital visitation rights, and the right to make medical decisions (which are two different things, I realize.)

Given the unending stream of press declaring the urgent human need for defining gender out of marriage, these are trivial reasons to not get married. These divisions have been present in the gay community all along. Only now that the Sex Radicals have acheived the objective of redefining marriage in the District of Columbia, and imposed costs on other people, will these fissures in the gay community be exposed to the light of day.

It is no wonder that the wider community has lost its stomach for accomodating the gay community.

Thanks to the Ruth Insitute for this Post

[UPDATE] Get Religion has a great article on the Lop-sided WaPo coverage of same-sex "marriage" in D.C.

[UPDATE #2] FIRST-PERSON: Gay marriage's 'open secret' - A link to an older story with a fresh take about infedelity in gay realtionships & there frequency and acceptance