The opposite of responsible procreation

A recent study in France turned up that the number of neonaticides (the killing of a baby on its birthday) may be five time higher than previously thought. Some may read this as a form of responsible procreation, if you can't take responsibility then you stop it as soon as you can. In that way this is presented as a form responsible non-procreation, but that is a misnomer, there was no non-procreation.

There is no mistake, the procreation did happen. And how and why did it happen? The report quotes the authors...

What distinguished them were their low levels of self esteem, emotional immaturity, dependency on others, and fear of being abandoned by them.

"Feeling very much alone, and for nearly half of them, depressed, [these women] probably did not have complete control over their lives or their sexuality," say the authors. "Neonaticide thus appears as a solution when an unwanted pregnancy risks creating a family scandal, or the loss of one's partner or a satisfying lifestyle," they continue.

The prevention seems to be written by reversing each negative role in the situation outlined by the authors. Women, in order to foster responsible procreation, need to feel supported, and have a contract and commitment from the partner in the very lifestyle that includes the act that creates children.

The difference between responsibility and irresponsibility is when you recognize what consequences will have the most impact on your life, and you prepare by positioning yourself in the best place possible so that the impact is good for you and the others involved. These women wish that having a child was something erasable, changable, but instead it is something very permanent. It happened.

The authors note, as should we all, that while these women are in a very tough predicament, it is often not of their own making. While the women are left holding the baby, they aren't the only party in its demise. The authors noted that having a baby put their relationship with their current "partner" at risk.

"Our findings suggest that preventive action, targeting only young, poor, unemployed and single women, or women in pregnancy denial, may not be appropriate," they add.

We need an institution that explicitely recognizes and promotes this lifestyle between a man and a woman, and gives a one-stop shopping for providing this contract and commitment for women. And then we need to let people know that the woman and child will never be equal until they have secured this commitment. From the man, to the woman, to the baby, the least vulerable has the easiest escape route. And the most vulnerable is the one positioned to pay the ultimate consequence. The only equality happens with marriage equality -- when the rights and responsibilities of the man, woman and child they potentially have together are all recognized equally.