His suggestion at the North Louisiana Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in Shreveport? "I think we should just try to make heterosexual divorce illegal."
Oh, how original. See previous posts on this idea here, here, here, and here.
I have an idea on how to stop the push to neuter marriage: outlaw adultery.
I've been arguing the converse for sometime: that the failure to outlaw adultery has paved the way for same-sex marriage.
ReplyDeleteBut if you want to start a full-fledged movement to outlaw adultery, you can count on my support.
You'll be battling the pro-adultery lobby. Despite the fact that they don't have any executive directors, fundraisers, or bumper stickers, they manage to be pretty effective. They have activist judges (Missouri, 2003) ready to override the will of the people.
peter, agreed. Bring back the option of 'at-fault' divorce in divorce filings. I mean, if you realize you don't love your spouse, give the courtesy of leaving first and don't cheat. But I wonder when people cheat is it really because their relationship was that bad, or did they simply were tempted with the opportunity?
ReplyDeleteI have previosly argued that the devaluation of marriage, including the separation of marriage from sex, childbearing, childrearing, fidelity, and so forth has empowered the movement to neuter marriage. And I think marriage neutering advocates back this up when they scoff at the notion of the sanctity of marriage, and that marriage channels sexuality.
ReplyDeleteWalrus, you won't find me scoffing at the sanctity of marriage. And I believe that marriage channels sexuality, as do some others who support expanding marriage to include same-sex couples.
ReplyDeleteRenee, Shirley Glass, who died a few years back, broke new ground in infidelity research. She found that infidelity occurs even in otherwise good marriages.
Peter, I would deny that either. Sorry I can't remember the reference where I read it, but the author (a therapist) noting in seeing her clients they would claim they had an affair because their marriage was bad. But in fact there was nothing wrong with their marriage, it was the affair that ruined it. Temptation exists, you can't think you can swim close to a waterfall without being pull over. If you are going to make the vow to monogamy, you can't place yourself in positions that can lead the potential of an affair. There can be an attractiveness to having an affair with anyone's desire to lust. Not excusing an affair, just acknowledging it.
ReplyDeletePeter,
ReplyDeleteWhat is the natural motive for the encouragement of sexual exclusivity for heterosexual couples? And is there an equally powerful natural motive for the encouragement of sexual exclusivity for homosexual couples?
RK, Outside sexuality, I think there can be a natural argument of trust and friendship. The concept of marriage though only exists because of the natural even of children. If heterosexual activity didn't get you pregnant, then marriage would of never of formed as a concept.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that men or women have a natural motive to maintain sexual exclusivity. I suspect that monogamy is a cultural expectation.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have to look very hard to find people who spend their careers exhorting others to live up to the expectations of monogamy while failing to live up to it themselves.
To be a hypocrite, you first have to have an expectation of behavior. I don't think anyone wants to live in a world where we don't have expectations of behavior?
ReplyDeleteRenee, I'm not suggesting that we abandon expectations of fidelity. I'm just saying that if monogamy were natural, it would be easier for people to remain monogamous.
ReplyDeletePeter: I don't know that men or women have a natural motive to maintain sexual exclusivity.
ReplyDeleteYou're not quite understanding what I'm getting at.
Let me put it just a little differently. What is the natural motive for the expectation, or the desire, of sexual exclusivity from one's spouse?
peter, but there is evidence of hormonal bonding though in the body. The hormone oxytocin allows women to bond with her children, but it is also the same hormone released after orgasm. The time frame on how it is release is different in gender. The 'high' of oxytocin last for hours in women, but only minutes in men. It's why women feel more attached to sex then men.
ReplyDeleteRK, sorry, I missed your response.
ReplyDeleteYes, I accept that there are a variety of reasons that people want their spouse to be sexually exclusive. I'm not sure if those are natural motives or learned.
Renee, yes, bonding seems natural. Exclusivity does not. I think that's something people have to work at.