"One Black Couple Who's Beaten The Odds, So Far"

One Black Couple Who's Beaten The Odds, So Far by Katia Riddle via NPR

Marriages are so rare in neighborhoods like theirs that one expert described them as "marriage deserts." And according to the 2000 census, seven out of 10 black mothers are unmarried. To combat these trends, a non-profit organization called the Center for Urban Families offers free classes in Baltimore that focus on relationship skills. Kendra and Brian did the program before they were married.

Kendra, Brian and the kids are living in a four-bedroom house with Kendra's two brothers and sister as well as her mother. Brian is driving a bus. Kendra takes care of the kids. Brian says the hardest part of the last year, for him, is accepting all the responsibility he's come to shoulder."You gotta take care of everything — the family, the household, all that — you gotta take care of everything. Everything is in your hands," Brian says. "Sometimes you get frustrated." In the meantime, they continue trying to save money. Kendra combs the Internet for apartment listings. Brian says when he has doubts, he repeats the following to himself: "Compromise and stay healthy. You know, stay positive."Three simple vows that are holding their marriage together.

Center of Urban Families: Helping Fathers and Families Work The system discourages poor African-American men from becoming involved parents

By Joseph T. Jones Jr.

My life is a tale of two boys with two very different dads.

When my first son, Trey, was born 30 years ago, I was what they now call a "baby daddy" — a young, unmarried high school dropout with a bad drug habit and a rap sheet. I never considered marrying my son's mother. In fact, I just disappeared from her life after the baby was born. As a result, Trey grew up feeling abandoned and hostile.

When my second son, Corey, came along 15 years later, I was not the same man who fathered Trey. By then, I was happily married with a college degree and a promising future. Corey is my whole life. He just finished his freshman year in college studying engineering.

I am sharing this painful, personal story so that middle-class Americans might better understand why so many poor, young, African-American men drop out of high school, father children out of wedlock and then wind up in prison. The answer: Many of them were reared, like my first son, by a single mother on public assistance and missed the essential, nurturing presence of a full-time father.