Motherhood: Older, Educated, Unmarried

The statistics in a new study say new mothers in the USA are increasingly older, more educated, and unmarried. Associated Press Writer Leanne Italie reports on what the Pew Research Center released.

But that doesn't mean women are waiting for the right moment: The study also found that half of mothers surveyed said parenthood "just happened."

If they think it "just happened", then apparently they aren't all that educated. "Just happened" is a silly thing teenagers say to their parents, or a woman who was supposedly on contraception or "unable to get pregnant" tells her male partner when she knows he has already told her he doesn't want to be a father, despite engaging in naturally reproductive behavior.

While most women giving birth are doing it within the context of marriage, researchers said a record 41 percent of births were to unmarried women in 2008. That's up from 28 percent in 1990, according to the study, "The New Demography of American Motherhood." The trend crossed major racial and ethnic groups.

If only we had legalized contraception and abortion, this kind of thing wouldn't be happening.

[Much more after the jump.]

It is possible that in the past, one of the reasons this was lower was because the parties to the conception would marry before the child was born, in part because of the existing pregnancy. However, by and large society no longer shames women for giving birth out of wedlock or a man for not marrying the mother of his child. Furthermore, many sources tell women they don't "need" a husband to be a good mother and the government will take care of them, fatherhood is denigrated and downplayed, and more men see marriage as detrimental or at least highly risky to them and not offering them anything they aren't already getting. Also, we have been told by the "enlightened" bunch advocating for the neutering of marriage that marriage isn't about children. So why bother to marry to have them?

Nearly 14 percent of mothers of newborns were 35 or older two years ago - and only about 10 percent were in their teens. The age trend was reversed in 1990, when teens had a 13 percent share of births.

If there has been a decline in teen births, that contributes to the average birth age rising.

Today, one in seven babies is born to a mother at least 35 years old. In 1990, one in 11 had a mother in that age group.

I believe it is best if sex (and therefore birthing) is reserved for marriage, and I'm generally in favor of people marrying after completing their education and establishing themselves is independent adults – including supporting themselves financially. I do not think a man should propose marriage unless he's capable of supporting a family. I think it is taking longer for people to establish themselves in this way, and as such, being older when becoming a parents isn't necessarily a bad thing. (I'm well aware that most people are not going to wait until their mid to late twenties before engaging in intercourse – I'm dealing with ideals.)

On the plus side for having children later is having more life experience. Possible downsides include having less energy for parenting, being more set in habits as a childless person, and not being alive as long to interact with children, grandchildren, etc. There is also the fertility issue.

Most mothers of newborns (54 percent) had at least some college education in 2008, an increase from 41 percent in 1990. Among mothers 35 or older, 71 percent had at least some college education.

Education is good, though I think far too much of academia is instilling the wrong attitudes and false notions in the minds of too many people, often in a way that ill prepares them to be good spouses and parents. Also, accumulating debt related to getting that education is detrimental to a healthy marriage.

When American parents are asked why they decided to have a child, most cite "The joy of having children," the study said.

If they had to explain that in specific terms, I think most of them couldn't - especially if asked before they became parents. Most people can't give a coherent, specific, logical reason why they want to have children aside from family or religious pressures. It is based more on feelings and desires. Objectively, children require a great deal of time, money, and energy and restrict a parent's options. And yet, although I was not unhappy on unfulfilled before becoming a father, I wanted children and there's nothing else quite like watching your child emerge from your wife, hugging your child, sharing giggles with them, watching them learn and grow, and knowing you have continued a chain that extends back through human history. It has taught me much about myself, life, and God.

Stephanie Coontz, director of research and public education for the nonprofit Council on Contemporary Families and a writer who teaches history and family studies at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Wash., said the rise of single motherhood is significant.

"It's yet another nail in the coffin in the hope that we can solve the challenges facing us today by shoehorning everyone back into marriages," she said.

We can encourage people not to raise kids out of wedlock by reserving intercourse for marriage, or marrying when pregnant or adopting the child out to a married couple.

"One of the big problems with that at this point is very often kids do worse if their mother rushes into a marriage that may be unstable."

Wouldn’t it be better if someone didn't allow someone who is abusive or dysfunctional or simply incompatible with them (or being a husband/being a father) into their body? That he bought you a drink is not very good screening. Children are best off being raised by married parents who are loving towards each other and them. If they parents aren't so good towards each other, it is still better that they are married than both trying to coparent while unmarried to each other, especially if they bring in stepparents or shack-ups or one-night stands who are much more likely to abuse the children. But sure, if a man is a child-molesting murderer, it is better for the mother to take the kids away from him.

Multiple births associated with the trend toward older motherhood were up sharply, including a 70 percent increase in the twin birth rate from 1980 to 2004.

"Not only are women in their 30s more likely than younger women to conceive multiples on their own, they also are more likely to undergo fertility treatments, which are linked to births of multiples," the researchers said.

So the bottom line is that women may indeed be waiting until they are older to have children, but some of the reason statistics say more births are to older, more educated women is that teen pregnancy is down and IVF/fertility treatments mean more multiples, in addition to the natural tendency of older women to have more multiples. Older people, by definition, have had more education, and women outnumber men in higher education now. The increase in unmarried births may also be due to an increase in women choosing not to abort their children.