- Sexual relationships changed. A 35 year-old female stroke survivor summed up the general feeling well. “It’s not a husband and wife role anymore” she said. “It’s a carer and a patient and it’s not very pleasant and it’s not fair.”
- All but one of the respondents reported a reduction or total loss of sexual desire after their stroke. Some felt that this was down to medication and fear of another stroke. As one 61 year-old male told the researchers “I want her there now as a friend but not really as my wife.”
These are very serious issues which couples may be ill prepared to deal with. I know some people who are dealing with these issues, especially as they get older. So it is with some distaste in my stomach for myself that I sum up the relevance of this as a pithy rejoinder to bad arguments I've seen in this debate.... "does this mean they are living a lie to be married?"
To form a marriage there must be sexual complementarity and there should be sexual attraction. It is this attraction that leads to procreation. But for the human being there needs to also be commitment and responsibility in the marriage. There is commitment and responsibility to raise and care for children but also to care for one's spouse. This is because the two should be one in which they faithfully give of themselves to each other. If for any reason the sexual pleasure is no longer there this commitment sustains them in matrimony. It is this understanding that has evoked the commitment, "in sickness and in health, till death . . . ." Sooner or later, as the couple ages, the sexual pleasure or interest will diminish. It is in the nature of our lives.
ReplyDeleteBecause our society places such an inordinate emphasis on the sexual aspect of the relationship any diminishment in the sexual urge is seen as a problem and is the cause of countless divorces with one or both of the spouses seeking elsewhere for greater sexual gratification. This has also spawned a fabulous industry selling Viagra, etc. Ours is truly a sex-obsessed society and this leads to bizarre affairs and a fantasy life ever seeking wilder encounters. This is why we also have such a thriving pornography industry.
Recognizing the potential for a riot of fantasy breaking out in society most societies and religions have emphasized modesty in dress and in conduct. The burka is a fanatical extreme. In our society the attire of the prostitute has become commonplace even among children. It is an outright rebellion against the Puritan ethic and is the other extreme from the Muslim burka. The sense of modesty is very hard to inculcate in children in the "Western" world these days. Granting certain so-called "freedoms" has enslaved millions of people to a poly-perverse lifestyle, devastating on families and society.